Scandal
by JaninaM8
Summary: Set in 1820. Jane has been adopted into the Odinson family. After extended travel to get away from Odin and find his place in the world, Loki has returned to his family. Thor is now titled and Jane has grown into a beautiful woman. What does Loki have planned for his life now? And how will he handle his "sister" being thrust into Society to make a match?
1. Chapter 1

**I**

**London, England 1820**

Jane Foster came running down the stairs of the townhouse she shared with her adopted family, Thor and Frigga Odinson. She was excited today because her other brother, Loki, was coming home after a year long trip to America. She had feared when they'd last seen him at their father's funeral and he announced that he was leaving for America, that he would decide to stay there.

Granted at the time emotions had been high as Odin had just passed and Loki had returned for the funeral only, and then was on his way. He and Odin had never seen eye-to-eye, had never gotten along very well compared to how well Thor and Odin got along, and she knew that Loki preferred to stay gone and away from the family. He and Thor hadn't exactly got on well at the time either, and though Jane was kept in the dark about most of it, she knew it had something to do with their father and how he treated his sons.

Yet she was excited to see him, very much so. Loki had always been her favorite brother. Though she was not blood-related to any of the Odinson's, she had been welcomed into the family at the tender age of ten after her parents had perished in a carriage accident. Odin had taken her in, as Jane's father had been Odin's good friend for a very long time and there was no family of Jane's that had stepped forward to claim her. Loki had been thirteen, and Thor had been fourteen. They were told to treat Jane as a sister and they had. Sometimes too well. She well remembered the snake in her bed one night placed there by both brothers. The games of hide-and-seek when they would "forget" to find her.

But she also remembered how Loki had taught her to play chess and Thor had taught her to climb trees – much to the distress of Frigga and Odin. Frigga because she was worried Jane would break her neck and Odin because it wasn't proper.

Loki had also taught her to ride a horse and how to sneak food to the dog under the table if she didn't want to eat something in particular. He had taught her to swim and how to blame Thor for something she wasn't supposed to have done.

When Loki and his father kept butting heads – Frigga called Loki "willful" – Odin had sent Loki to Eton while hiring the best tutors in the area for Thor. Jane still remembered the look of utter betrayal on Loki's face when he'd left for Eton on a chilly Monday morning.

Like the good sister she had committed herself to be, Jane had written to Loki constantly. He didn't write back often and Jane wondered if it was too hard for him and if he wanted to put everyone at Odinson manor behind him. Including her. The thought had stung for she had always been in Loki's corner. Always. He'd come home for Christmas, but spend his summers elsewhere. Then, when he'd graduated he'd gone away to France, to Italy – taking a grand tour and when he came back things had been just as before between he and Odin.

Jane had barely gotten Loki back before he had left again. Then he'd come back for the funeral and left again. Jane was determined that this time she would soak up as much time with her brother as she could before he left them all again.

"Jane, you'll break your neck running down the stairs like that," Thor said from the head of the dining room table.

Jane rolled her eyes and sat down to the left of him while Frigga sat to the right of him at the table.

"Your brother is right, Jane," Frigga said as she sipped her tea. "Pray be careful."

Jane ignored them both as she buttered toast that had been left on her plate. "When is Loki arriving?" she asked.

"Any time now," Thor replied.

Jane squirmed excitedly in her seat.

"Jane, you must show a little decorum, please," Frigga said with a sigh.

Jane frowned. "Why? It's only us."

"It is good practice," Frigga said.

Jane sighed and took a dainty bite of her toast and sat up straight in her seat, the model of decorum and poise.

The sound of horses pounding their hooves on the ground sounded loud from the open windows behind them and Jane tossed her toast on the plate and jumped up. She ignored Frigga and Thor calling after her and ran to the doors and pushed them open. She ran down the stairs just as Loki was stepping down from the carriage he'd been in.

"Loki!" she exclaimed and threw her arms around him. He smelled like bergamot and mint and Loki, her darling brother Loki. He was solid, too, and so tall. She had forgotten how tall he was.

"Jane," he murmured, and she felt one hand at the back of her neck, holding her against him while the other twined around her waist. "How's my girl?"

Jane shut her eyes and buried her face in his stiff black coat. "I missed you, Loki."

"I missed you as well," he said, his voice a deep rumble.

She stepped back and looked up at him, drinking him in. "You look taller," she told him. She smiled and reached up to touch his unruly black hair that was down to his shoulders. "Your hair has gotten longer, too." Her eyes met his and the warmth she saw there made her heart feel as though it had skipped a beat. She looked away from his penetrating blue eyes and looked over the rest of him. He looked so dignified and proper with just a little bit of wildness about him.

"Jane, you have grown into such a beautiful young woman," he said. "How old are you now?"

"Nineteen. Not quite on the shelf yet, but I think mother is worried I will be. She is determined to make me a match this Season."

Loki pursed his thin lips together and furrowed his brows. "Well, we'll just have to see about that, won't we? I'm back now and I won't let just anyone marry my sister."

"Now you sound like Thor," Jane said with a roll of her eyes.

"Brother."

Loki looked past Jane and his smile faltered as he watched Thor and Frigga come down the stairs. Frigga, though a bit more contained than Jane, threw her arms around her youngest and held him tight. Loki hugged her back, his eyes shut and a peaceful yet sad expression on his face. "My son. You've come home," she said, and it sounded as though she was about to cry.

"I am," Loki said softly. "How are you, Mother?"

Frigga pulled back and took Loki's face in between her hands and smiled at him as tears fell from her eyes. "I am so glad you've come home. You are back where you belong."

Loki didn't say a word, but just nodded once and pulled her hands from his face.

"Brother," Thor said again and came forward. Thor held out his hand and when Loki took it, Thor then embraced him. "Welcome home."

"Well, if you do not mind, I'd like to go up to my room or wherever it is you've put me and freshen up," Loki said when Thor stood back.

"Of course you still have your room, silly!" Jane said and took hold of his hand. "I'll take you up and you can tell me all about America."

Loki laughed. "You expect to hear all about America in one trip to the second floor?"

She frowned. "Well, no, but you can at least tell me what it's like to sail on a ship."

He grimaced. "Not fun at all."

"Why?"

"Jane, darling, why don't you give Loki some breathing room?" Frigga said.

"It's all right, Mother," Loki said and grinned down at Jane. "I don't mind Jane badgering me. It's nice to know that some things never change."

Jane playfully swatted him on the arm and then slung her arm through his as they made their way up the stairs. "Did you have your own room at least on the ship?"

Frigga and Thor watched the pair walk up to the house and then disappear inside. They looked at each other. "Seems Jane will forget I exist now," Thor said with a wistful smile.

Frigga shook her head and laughed softly. "Never. Jane loves you both so very much."

Thor shrugged. "It's okay. Loki has always been her favorite, I know it. And I'm fine with it."

xxxxxxxxx

Jane stood awkwardly outside Loki's bedchamber with her hands folded demurely in front of her as he went inside. For some reason she felt odd about following him inside. Though she had been in his bedchamber plenty of times before when they were growing up, now that they were older and Loki had been away so much it didn't feel right. It felt rather like an invasion. Or like a place that was not proper for her to enter.

She stood to the side as the servants brought his luggage inside and after a minute he came out and looked at her. "Jane? What are you doing standing out here?"

"Well, I don't want to intrude in your personal space…" she said with a frown.

He took her hands and pulled her inside with him. "You've been in my bedchamber before. Sometimes without me in it."

She shrugged. Apparently Loki didn't find it odd to have her in there so why should she find it so?

"Tell me," he said as he watched the servants leave for the next batch of luggage. "Are they any suitors I need to know about?"

"No, not really…" she bit her lip.

"What does 'not really' mean?"

"I don't have a suitor, but I do have a friend that is a man."

"Who?"

Jane's eyes narrowed slightly. "I'm not sure I should tell you."

Loki laughed. "What do you think I'll do?"

"I'm not sure yet."

"I'm home now, poppet, and I need to be brought up to speed as to what is happening in your life so I can acclimate myself to this life again."

"'This life'?"

"You know, life in the family."

Jane bit her lip. "You have always been part of the family, Loki."

Sadness flitted across his features and then he smiled at her. "Maybe so, but I have been gone for a very long time, Jane. As much as you want to know about me, I want to know about you as well."

"You might've known all along had you not left for America for a year."

Loki arched a brow and Jane looked down. "I apologize," she said. "I suppose I am still hurt that you'd gone so far away from me…from us."

Loki came over to her and cupped the side of her face with one hand. "I'm home now, Jane."

"For how long?"

"For good."

"Do you promise?"

Loki leaned in and kissed her cheek. "I promise," he whispered.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

In between directing the servants as to where he wanted belongings placed and taking on the task of putting some items away himself, Loki told Jane about his time on the ship to and from America just as she'd wanted. He had just started to tell her about the illness that had ravaged the ship on the way back and the measures he'd gone to, to ensure he did not get sick when Frigga rapped on his door and then entered. "Jane, darling, it's time for your dance lesson," she announced.

Jane rolled her eyes and sighed. "Now?"

"Yes, now. Mr. Peters is waiting in the ballroom."

Jane grumbled and got up as though it was taxing just to stand and trudged out of the room. Loki couldn't help but be amused by her theatrics and after she'd gone he looked over at his mother. "Dance lessons?"

"They're refreshers, really," Frigga explained. "When we're in the country once the Season is over she doesn't have a chance to practice her dance steps much. I want her to be ready for tonight."

Loki frowned. "Tonight?"

"There is a ball tonight and we've been invited. I've made arrangements for Jane to attend with her friend, Lady Darcy, so that Thor and I can be home with you—"

"No, I actually think I'd like to attend this ball," Loki said thoughtfully as he watched one of the servants place books in the bookcase in his room from one of the rather large trunks he'd had with him.

"You would?" Frigga seemed surprised.

"Jane tells me that you are determined to make her a match."

"Of course. You knew when she came of age that marriage was the plan for Jane."

"Yes, well, seeing as I do not necessarily trust Thor's judgment when it comes to our Jane, I want to make sure my sister makes the right match. I want to see what young dandies she has to choose from. She tells me she has a male 'friend' already?"

"Yes, Lord Steve Rogers. He's the third son of an earl and quite a polite young man. Jane insists they are just friends, but I think he may have more in mind for her. I would not be opposed to the match should he ask for her hand."

Loki frowned. "You would pursue the match for her even if she does not want anything more from him?"

"Loki, when did you become so…sentimental? Jane likes him well enough. She could grow to love him in time."

"I rather think Jane is the sort to want to marry for love first, not with the promise of it happening after. What about Thor? Should he not make himself a match first to carry on the Asgard title?"

"This sudden concern for your sister being in Society is heart-warming, but you're a little late. She made her debut while you were traveling, Loki."

"Well, I'm here now, mother, and I want only the best for Jane. I've seen the matches people in Society can make and I do not want something loveless for her. Jane has great passion and she needs a man that can match that. Nothing less will suffice for her."

Frigga sighed. "You and Jane have always had a special bond. I know you want the best for her, but could you perhaps trust me and Thor to make sure Jane is well taken care of?"

"No," Loki said bluntly. "I'm here now and _I_ will make sure."

Frigga shook her head. "I knew it would take only seconds for you and Jane to be as thick as thieves once more."

Loki grinned. "Of course."

"Do you need help unpacking, my son?"

"No, as a matter of fact, I think I will join Jane and brush up on my dancing as well."

With that, Loki was off and Frigga could only smile. Things were going back to normal quicker than she'd imagined it seemed.

xxxxxxxxx

Loki always found immense pleasure in making Jane laugh and he found he had been absolutely starved for the sound of it when she started giggling at all his missteps. It appeared Jane took great pleasure in Loki being utterly terrible at dancing.

I'm rusty," he told her. "Just rusty."

"Oh yes," she said and he could tell that she thought no, he was simply just terrible. "Did you not have occasion to dance in America?"

"I did…though I admit to preferring not to."

"I think you need this lesson more than I do."

Loki grinned down at her. "It appears that I do." And then he accidentally stepped on her foot and Jane shot him a mock glare.

It was about then that Mr. Peters took Loki aside and endeavored to teach him the steps rather than Jane. Jane followed along and it ended up that Mr. Peters and Jane refreshed Loki on his dancing.

When Mr. Peters left, Jane and Loki sat down in the chairs propped against the wall in the ballroom. Loki leaned his head back against the wall. "I hope I remember all that for tonight."

"Tonight?" Jane asked.

"I told Mother I wanted to attend the ball tonight."

"So you are all going now after all?" Jane asked excitedly.

"Yes."

"Oh, good!" Jane clapped her hands together happily and kissed his cheek.

Thor entered the ballroom them and smiled as he came up on his brother and sister. "I saw Mr. Peters leave," he explained. "He looked a little worn this afternoon. Jane, did you give him a hard time?"

Jane shook her head. "No, Loki did. He's horribly rusty, Thor."

Thor grinned. "Is he now?"

"Not to worry, brother, I will not embarrass you and shame the title this evening," Loki said.

"Mother did mention something about all of us attending the ball tonight after all."

"I figure the best way to acclimate myself to the ton is to thrust myself into it," Loki said. He then reached over and patted Jane's hand. "Plus, keep my eye on a certain young lady and her suitors."

"Jane, I'd like to speak with Loki alone for a bit…." Thor began.

Jane nodded and jumped up. She kissed Loki on the cheek followed by Thor and then made her way out of the ballroom, humming all the while. Loki watched her go, thinking he hadn't realized just how much he'd missed her until he was back in her presence. Jane had always had a way of making him smile and taking him out of his doldrums. He had a tendency to brood and Jane simply did not let him. She was the sun in his world, and it made him feel all the more protective of her.

He'd known in the back of his mind that Jane was of age to wed, but he'd ignored the fact, thinking that Jane would forever be the young girl that dogged his every step and hung on his every word. He didn't want to think of Jane as a wife to some unworthy Lord that didn't understand what he had in Jane. He certainly did not want to think of Jane doing all the things a wife did. Loki thought he might challenge any man who dared touch his sister in any way that was sexual to a duel.

"What can I do for you, Lord Asgard?" Loki asked with faux gallantry.

Thor frowned. "Pray, do not, brother."

"What? You are Lord Asgard now, are you not?"

"Shall I begin to call you Lord Loki Odinson then?"

Loki shrugged, non-committal. "What may I do for you? Or, rather, since the apple does not fall far from the tree, what may I not do to ensure I do not embarrass the title?"

"Loki…don't. I am not Father and I will not treat you as Father did."

"So you admit that he treated me differently? That he found me lacking in every single way?"

"You both did your best to antagonize one another," Thor said diplomatically.

"I was simply myself."

"Yes, the more aggravating version of yourself."

"I do not plan to do anything unseemly, Thor. I am not home again to cause trouble."

"I know that."

"Do you?"

Thor shot him a look and Loki held up a hand. "I do have plans of my own."

Thor cocked his head to the side. "What sort of plans?"

"I made a friend in America, a fellow by the name of Anthony Stark. He was a businessman that invested his money in several endeavors that ended up benefiting him well. I plan to do the same. He taught me everything he knew and I plan to apply that knowledge here. I plan to make my own way."

"What do you have in mind to invest in?" Thor asked.

"Trade, mostly. Perhaps some real estate, risky as it might be. London is flourishing and I'd be a fool not to take advantage of it."

"Has your inheritance run out?"

Loki shook his head. "No." He left it at that. Let Thor guess why Loki felt it so important to have something of his own. For so long he had been compared to his brother the heir while Loki had simply been "the spare". Thor had been primed from birth that one day he would be Lord Asgard. Loki had been as well, but on a lesser scale. He had always been found lacking, and his mischievous nature had always been a source of contention between he and Odin. Odin wasn't any fun at all and it seemed he wanted his sons to be the same way. That was just not in Loki's nature and so the two never quite got along. Their father, Loki realized, was an old man with old-fashioned ideas. Loki did not plan to follow in his fathers footsteps. Let Thor have at it instead.

"I am glad you are home, brother," Thor said and looked Loki in the eye as he said it. "I have missed you. We have all missed you."

Loki acknowledged the sentiment with a nod, and then he stood. "If you'll excuse me. I must see about having my valet prepare me for this evening's ball. Who is hosting this ball anyway?"

"Lord Erik Selvig."

"Excellent. I always did like that man. Very smart." Loki stood, nodded to Thor, and left the ballroom.

Thor ran his hand through his errant strands of blond hair and sighed. It was going to take some time to build a relationship with Loki again, but Thor was determined to do it. He'd missed having a brother to cavort about with and hoped, that in time, they could get that camaraderie back.

xxxxxxxxxxx

"Jane! Do you wish to attend this ball or not?" Thor shouted from the foyer where he, Loki, and Frigga all waited for Jane to join them so they could leave.

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" Jane called out and then came bounding down the stairs, ribbons in her hair flapping behind her.

Loki looked up at his sister and was about to tease her when instead he froze. Good God. His Jane has grown up. The soft turquoise dress she wore made her chocolate brown eyes pop and her brown hair seem somehow richer and more lustrous. And then there was the glaring fact that Jane now had a bosom! And it was provocatively being displayed by the low cut dress.

"Absolutely not," Loki said and pointed to the stairs. "Go back up and change."

Jane, having just reached the last step, gaped at him. Thor furrowed his brow and Frigga just looked bewildered.

"Pardon?" Jane said and looked to Frigga.

"You are not wearing that dress. It reveals too much," Loki said. "Find another."

Frigga laughed, the light peal of laughter that spoke of how silly she found Loki's complaint. "There is absolutely nothing wrong with that dress. It is the fashion now, Loki. We purchased that street from the best modiste in London. Jane is fine. Come, darling, let's put on your cloak."

Jane came forward and Thor helped Jane with her cloak while Loki looked on, fuming. "Are you telling me that my sister has been wearing dresses just like that since her coming out?"

"Yes," Thor, Frigga, and Jane said in unison. The butler opened the door and Thor led the way out. Jane and Frigga followed behind him with Loki bringing up the rear.

"I'm going to have to beat them all off with a stick!" Loki exclaimed. "Don't you dare tip forward in any way, Jane, do you understand me? All those bloody wankers at the ball do not need to see any more than they already will be seeing!"

"You sound like Father now," Jane said with a roll of her eyes once they were all situated in the carriage.

Thor rapped on the roof to signal the driver they were ready.

"And I'll be bloody well acting like him, too," Loki warned her.

"Mother…" Jane said worriedly and looked at Frigga. Frigga opened her mouth to speak and Loki shook his head and cut her off. "No, don't go to Mother for help, Jane. I'm home now and you're just going to have to get used to it."

"Do not worry, dearest," Frigga said and patted Jane's hands. "Your brother is all bluster now, but when he's part of the crush and all the young ladies are fawning all over him, he'll forget he planned to play the part of watchdog tonight."

"We'll see about that," Loki grumbled.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

Jane went to find her friend, Lady Darcy, as young women were wont to do at a ball. Loki had to stop himself from following after her to make sure some young buck didn't get any ideas about her. He stood with his mother and brother with a frown marring his face as he tracked Jane across the room. He was no stranger to being protective of Jane, yet this was something new. Before it was protecting her from falling out of a tree or drowning in the pond near their estate in the country when he was teaching her to swim. This was something else entirely. This was a need to hide her from the eyes of men he knew would be looking at his Jane with lust in their eyes. This was wanting to challenge every man who dared approach her with touching her on his mind to a duel.

This was about protecting Jane from men like him.

"Stop scowling," Frigga said as she waved her fan before her face. "You've just returned to Society and this is how you act?"

"If I'd known that Jane was attending balls in gowns like that I would have come home a lot sooner," Loki told her.

"Loki, look around you. She is not wearing anything scandalous. You are only seeing her gown as scandalous because you're being overprotective."

"I'd rather be overprotective than underprotective," he hissed.

"Do calm down, Loki. Jane is a lady and will not do anything to ruin her name—"

"It's not Jane doing anything to ruin her reputation that I am worried about. It's the men who look at her like they want to gobble her up that I am concerned about. Most of these wankers are not fit to breathe the same air as her." He started forward as he spied a young man with light brown hair approaching Jane. "Who is that she's talking to?"

"That is Lord Steve Rogers," Thor said. "He's harmless."

"Like hell," Loki muttered and started in the direction of Jane when he was stopped by a woman placing herself directly in his path.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't Lord Loki Odinson back from the savage America."

Loki temporarily lost all train of thought at the amount of bosom nearly spilling out of Lady Sigyn's bodice. "Hello, Lady Sigyn," he drawled as he took her gloved hand and kissed her knuckles. "How do you fare?"

She smiled seductively. "I fare well. Even better now that you've returned. What do you say we get some air and catch up?"

Loki knew exactly what 'catching up' entailed and he would have to be daft to not want to take Lady Sigyn up on her offer. The two of them had dallied before and Loki knew he would depart from her thoroughly sated. Quite frankly, he rather needed it. Coming home had never been fun for Loki, and though he no longer had to deal with his father's judgments and backhanded comments, it was still jarring to return to the family fold that he'd distanced himself from for so long. He loved his mother but the same closeness was gone. He felt the strain with Thor…the only part to coming home that had felt right was Jane.

Jane…

He had been on a mission before Lady Sigyn had literally stepped in his path. He felt at a loss as to what he should do when Lady Sigyn took matters into her own hands and said, "Follow me."

How could Loki turn the lady down now?

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Loki fastened the button on his trousers and looked up at Lady Sigyn as she adjusted her dress and then patted her hair into place. His body felt sated, yet somehow he still felt restless.

"That was fun was it not?" Lady Sigyn asked with a smirk. "How was that for a welcome home?"

Loki smiled and nodded as he stood up from the water fountain where Lady Sigyn had ridden him to oblivion and he felt…dirty. Odd, that. He had never felt dirty after a tryst before, but now he did for some reason.

"How is my hair?" she asked.

"Perfect," Loki said. "You told me not to touch it and I didn't."

She smiled and patted the side of his face gently. "That's my Loki. Always so accommodating."

Loki's smile began to fall.

"I'll go back first," she said and started on the path back to the house.

Loki sat back down and heaved a sigh. What did it say about him that not even ten minutes into a ball and he was fucking Lady Sigyn in the gardens? He got up and started his trek back to the house. As he made his way up the stairs to the rather long balcony that led to the ballroom, he paused when he spied Jane talking to Lord Steve Rogers in a secluded corner.

When he saw Lord Steve whisper in her ear in a thoroughly intimate way, Loki saw red. With long strides he made his way toward Jane. She must have heard him coming for she turned to look his way and froze. And then her eyes narrowed.

"Jane, go back inside right now," he told her. He glared at Lord Steve who just looked back at him nonplussed.

"We're not doing anything wrong, Loki," Jane said.

"I do not care. You should not be out here alone with a man."

"I wonder if someone thought to warn Lady Sigyn about that?" she snapped.

Loki's eyes went wide. Bloody hell. She knew about that?

"It's all right, Jane. I'll go inside first if you want to speak with your brother."

Jane lifted her chin and sniffed. "I do not. I'll go in first."

"And I will join you," Loki growled and took hold of her arm. He all but dragged her with him into the ballroom and Jane tried her best to free herself.

"Let go of me," she hissed.

"Stop acting like a spoiled brat and listen to me."

"No," she said and managed to pull herself free. "You worry about me and what I'm doing with suitors while you're off having a tryst with Lady Sigyn of all people. You've no room to tell me how to conduct myself, Loki. Steve—"

"Oh, we're on a first name basis with him now, are we?"

"Yes! He is my friend."

"I daresay he is more than a friend from what I saw."

"He's a gentleman and I like him."

"Has he kissed you?" Loki demanded.

The flush on Jane's cheeks told him all he needed to know on that front. Loki wanted to punch Lord Steve Rogers dead in his handsome face. It bothered him, the idea of Jane having been kissed. Young ladies were not supposed to kiss anyone before they were engaged. The thought of her kissing a man filled him with violence. He knew women did it, but not his Jane. Not his pure of heart and innocent sister. He gripped her arms and found he wanted to…kiss…her.

He let go of her, deflating in an instant. What the hell…?

"If you will now excuse me," she said and marched off, getting lost in the crush immediately.

Loki stood there, his heart racing. What the devil was that about? Kiss Jane? His sister? What was wrong with him? Where had that urge come from? And why?

_Because you wanted to banish the thought of all other men from her mind,_ the little voice in his head said. _She is yours. She always has been. _

No. Jane was his, yes, but as a sister not as a woman he could have.

_You are not related by blood,_ the voice pointed out.

Still. They had been raised together.

"I need a bloody drink," he muttered to himself and went in search of one. He wasn't sure what the hell was going on in his head, but he was not at all comfortable with it. _Jane is your sister _ran like a mantra in his head.

He grabbed a glass of wine off the refreshment table and looked upon the crowd. Lady Sigyn was dancing and overtly flirting with another gentleman, and Jane and Lord Steve were in the same dance, laughing together.

Something twisted unpleasantly in Loki's gut. He'd felt out of place before and now he just felt utterly out to sea.

"It is you!"

Loki looked to the side to see his old friend Malekith coming towards him. He forced a smile as his friend approached and the two shook hands. Then, more gentlemen came forward and a few women as well. Before Loki knew it there was a crowd surrounding him, peppering him with questions about his trip to America and the other places he'd gone. His mind was taken off Jane temporarily though she was still in the back of his mind. It was just as his mother had prophesized.

Somehow he was then thrust into taking one of the women to the dance floor and after that, Loki was never left without someone coming up to him to welcome him back.

By the time they were ready to go Loki was exhausted both physically and mentally. Arguing with Jane and then being swarmed by people had taken everything out of him.

Thor, Jane, Frigga, and Loki silently made their way to their carriage. Once inside, Thor and Frigga engaged Loki in a discussion of who he had reconnected with and Jane arched a brow at him and looked away from him, remaining silent the whole way home.

When they arrived home, Jane practically ran up the stairs to her bedchamber and all Loki did was stand there and watch her go.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

The following morning after breakfast Loki found Jane out in the garden reading on one of the benches. He knew she must have heard him approach, but she paid him no mind until he sat down right beside her.

"Hello, Loki," she said dryly as she turned a page in her book.

"Hello, Jane. Enjoying the beautiful day?"

She closed her book and turned to face him. "Let's get this over with. You wish to lecture me on what you thought was bad behavior and I believe you have no argument."

Loki gazed down at his little spitfire and had to squelch the smile that he felt coming on. He always knew that when Jane got older she was going to be a force to contend with. "And you believe I have no argument because of what I was doing with Lady Sigyn."

"Exactly. It's unfair that you get to do whatever you want because you're a man and I cannot because I am a woman. That is everything that is wrong with society today. You can do what you want but I can't."

"You better not have done what I was doing with Lady Sigyn and that has nothing to do with the fact that you're a woman," Loki warned her.

"I know, I know, because I'm your sister and I should be locked up in a tower," she said with a roll of her eyes and sat back against the bench. " I've heard it all before, and mostly from Thor since my come out."

Loki looked straight ahead at the fountain that had Aphrodite in the middle complete with the shell she was sprung from. He started at it while contemplating Jane's belief that his concern for her welfare was solely based on the fact that she was his "sister". His urge to kiss her last night had not been brotherly at all. In fact, that one moment in time had kept him up all night. For the first half all he could think was he'd wanted to kiss Jane. He'd wanted to kiss his sister. He'd wanted to kiss Jane who was his _sister_.

And yet, she wasn't really his sister. That fact had kept him awake for the latter half of the night.

"Loki, are you listening to me?"

Loki looked down at Jane and nodded. "Yes, I heard you. I want to know exactly what the nature of your relationship is with Lord Steve Rogers."

Jane sighed heavily as if this was a horrendous imposition. "Lord Steve is a friend. That's all. We were…practicing on each other."

Loki gritted his teeth. "And just how far did you go with the practicing?"

"Not as far as you went with Lady Sigyn."

"Jane…"

"We kissed a few times, that's all. He is interested in someone else and…so am I."

Loki's entire body tensed. He heaved in a ragged sigh for patience and to hopefully combat the surge of jealousy he felt. "Who?" he forced himself to ask calmly.

"He's interested in—"

"I don't give a fig about him, Jane. You. Who are you interested in?"

She turned to face him. "Do you promise not to tell Mother and Thor?"

"Christ, is it that bad?"

"No. It's Lord Erik Lehnsherr."

"Absolutely not!" Loki blurted out and shook his head emphatically. "He's a philanderer, notoriously bankrupt, and he cavorts with whores. No."

"You've been away for how long, Loki? How would you know all this?"

"I hear things. News travels fast, Jane. And I ran into him in Italy. He had a questionable rash."

She narrowed her eyes. "You're lying."

"I am not." He was.

Jane leaned in close to him and peered up into his face. She was so close Loki could feel her breath on his face and see the green specks in her eyes. He remained firm and gave nothing away. His gaze dropped to her mouth and he held back a groan. Jane sat back, finally, and pursed her luscious lips together. "I still think you're lying."

"Has he paid you any special attention?" Loki asked whilst thinking if Lord Erik had even brushed past her Loki was going to have his head on a spike.

Jane frowned and kicked at the ground. "Not really, no."

"What do you mean by 'not really'?"

"He bumped into me and said 'I apologize, Lady Jane', and then continued on." She sighed dreamily and Loki rolled his eyes.

"And Thor and Mother do not know of your infatuation for him?"

"No. You promised you wouldn't tell, Loki," she said, sounding partly stern and partly nervous.

"I won't tell. But only if you cease kissing Lord Steve."

She shrugged. "That's fine."

"Jane, have you considered that Lord Steve may feel more for you than he is willing to admit? Does he know of your…tendre for Lord Erik?"

"Yes. He thinks the same as you about him."

Well then. That was quite telling wasn't it? "You are not that naïve, Jane."

She fell silent then and Loki knew for certain that she wasn't. She was quite aware of Lord Steve's feelings for her. "Jane—"

"It's not that I wish to hurt him, Loki," she explained. "I had a feeling he wasn't completely honest when he told me about his feelings for Lady Margaret Carter, but I thought when I told him about mine for Lord Erik it would discourage him."

"I would say kissing him probably encouraged him, Jane."

"I know and I feel awful. I just…this is going to sound terrible…"

"Just say it," Loki said and braced himself.

"I just really wanted the practice should I have occasion to kiss Lord Erik."

"You are absolutely right, Jane. That is terrible!" Loki admonished her. "You've been leading that boy on and you've been risking your reputation—"

"Don't even start, Loki. You are no innocent."

He turned to face her and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Jane, look at me. I understand that you think what I did with Lady Sigyn was wrong and you're right in a way – it was. Lady Sigyn and I have a history—"

"I know all about your history with Lady Sigyn," Jane said bitterly. A little _too_ bitterly…

"How do you know about that?"

"I hear things too. People talk, Loki."

"Yes, they do. That is why I do not want you to be kissing Lord Steve where people can see you – and before you even ask no, you are to cease kissing him altogether."

Jane made a face and looked away from him.

"Listen to me, sweetheart," he said gently and nudged her to look at him. She looked up at him, looking a bit contrite. "Lady Sigyn has a reputation, and not a very good one. I know I've not helped, but she's not my sister. You are. Your reputation is important to me. I do not want any sort of scandal to befall you, Jane. You would ruin yourself and your family with it. Do you want that?"

She sighed and shook her head. "No, I don't." Now she sounded downright melancholy.

"And that's why I also don't want you anywhere near Lord Erik. The man is a cad. Just exchanging a few polite words with him could land you into trouble."

"You two look serious," Thor said as he approached the pair in the garden. "What are we chatting about?"

Jane jumped up went over to Thor and kissed him on the cheek. "Thor, something needs to be done about Loki."

Thor chuckled. "Oh?"

"He's in danger of becoming a bit of a curmudgeon. I thought all the traveling would bring him back to us in better spirits. Instead he's a bit stiff and unyielding."

"Jane," Loki said warningly.

Seeming to understand that if she continued on this path of teasing Loki she would find herself in big trouble, Jane turned and flashed Loki a wide smile that made her look positive angelic. Loki fell for it for all of a second. He knew all about charming someone to your side – he did it all the time. No doubt the brat had learned it from him. She came over and kissed his cheek sweetly. "If you tell anyone about Lord Steve and Lord Erik I'll tell Mother about Lady Sigyn," Jane whispered in his ear and then, clutching her book before her demurely, she nodded and smiled to Thor as she passed by him and headed back to the house.

_That little minx_, Loki thought as he watched her go.

"So, what is it you've become such a curmudgeon about, brother?"

Loki shook his head and waved a hand dismissively. "Jane exaggerates. I was just doing my brotherly duty and giving her my speech about guarding her reputation. A little late, I know, and I'm sure you've done it already as has Mother, but I thought I would pitch in."

"She is a headstrong girl," Thor said with a sigh. "I swear she hears me, but pretends she does not."

Loki chuckled. "And here I thought she'd turn out to be sweet."

Thor smiled and nodded to him. "What say you join me for a drink at the club? I'll get you in, you'll become a member and whenever you have need to be around men after being around women all day…"

"We are outnumbered aren't we?" Loki surmised.

"Even the cat is a girl."

Loki chuckled and nodded. "Say, does Lord Erik Lehnsherr visit your club?"

Thor cocked his head to the side and looked at Loki curiously. "He does. Why?"

"Well, I ran into him in Italy and we shared a bit of conversation. I thought now that I'm back I'd say hello." _And make sure Jane isn't even a passing thought in his pea brain, _Loki thought_. _


	5. Chapter 5

**I apologize for any errors! Thank you everyone for reading and reviewing! :) I hope you enjoy this chapter. It was a lot of fun to write! **

Brook's, the gentleman's club that Thor belonged to, boasted a fire place, the best ale and port in London, and a hearty meal. There were several tables, even a wall lined with books, and Loki found groups of gentleman playing whist and various other card games together. The atmosphere was relaxed and comfortable, almost homey.

As Thor spoke to the proprietor of the place about securing a membership for Loki, Loki scanned the crowd looking for Lord Erik. He found him playing whist and decided to wait and bide his time.

An hour later, Loki was seated with the daily newspaper on his lap and was sipping brandy. Thor was going on and on about Asgard Hall in Derbyshire, their home seat during the off season, and Loki was keeping an eye on Lord Erik whilst thinking about Jane.

His Jane who had grown into a beautiful young woman. And a minx. And a spitfire. These feelings he was having for her disturbed him. Jane had come to the Odinson household young and had been treated as a sibling from the start. It hadn't been a hard transition to make for her parents had been close friends to Odin and Loki and Thor had seen Jane often enough. They were practically siblings already.

Yet now that he'd felt the urge to kiss her, had obsessed about the urge to kiss her and had, as of last night, "remembered" that she was not actually his sister, he could not shake it from his head.

Was this a passing fancy? If so, where did it come from? Was it because Jane had always looked up to him and had always seemed to favor him over Thor – for she was the only one truly to ever do so? Was he feeling now bereft for young, sweet, impressionable Jane who thought of him as her greatest hero? He'd missed out on her most formidable years after all, and now she was practically an adult and of marriageable age and suddenly his dear sweet Jane was grown and beautiful and God, a _woman_.

He glanced at Thor and wondered if his brother had suffered any sort of attraction to Jane. On second thought, no. Probably not. Thor had a place for everything and everything in its place. The day they were told that Jane would be their sister and part of their family, it was a done deal. And it had been for Loki as well.

Until now of course.

Now when the thought of some man touching what he was beginning to think was his he wanted to lock her up in that tower she'd mentioned. He could see her of course, even Thor. Frigga naturally.

But no one else.

Jane was his. Plain and simple. She always had been, and she always would be. Except now there was a romantic connotation to her being his that had not been there before.

_All right, Lord Loki Odinson ,_ he thought, _let's say this is not a passing fancy but something real. Something you want – er, someone you want._ _You just went on at length about scandal and protecting her reputation and that of the family. What do you think would happen if you pursued this with Jane? And what exactly is it would you pursue? Sex?_

His heart leapt at the thought – along with his cock. The images of Jane in ways he'd never thought of her before rose unbidden to his mind and he thought he should be horrified for thinking of her in such a way, for imagining her under him, her limbs wrapped around him – ack! He was far from horrified. His hardening cock was proof of that.

"The Temples work hard and produce much. They don't ask for much, never have. I fixed a roof for them before winter – before the first snow fall actually – and it was good work. I know I'm not supposed to do such thing, being an earl and all, but I don't really see what the trouble is in getting your hands dirty once in a while. It's good for me. It keeps me humble and…"

Good. Listening to Thor ramble on had softened his cock.

Loki lightly scratched the side of his head. So, sex was something he definitely wanted from Jane.

But that wasn't all.

His heart sped up as he thought of her smiles and her letters. The mischief in her eyes. How voraciously she read and at all hours of the night – he assumed at least that this was still happening. How smart she was. How red her cheeks would get when she was mad and how she'd stomp her foot. How she hugged him so tightly when he'd returned home. How curious she was about everything and everyone.

He loved those things about Jane.

He loved Jane.

Was he _in_ love with Jane?

No, of course not, how could that be? She was his sister! He shouldn't even be thinking these thoughts and having these lurid fantasies about his _sister_.

But no. She was _not_ his sister.

He was struck with the sudden urge to see her. Right now. Right then. He folded the paper and jumped up. He looked at Thor. "Are we quite done here?"

Thor looked startled. "Loki, have you been listening to anything I've said?"

"Yes, of course. Roofs, shingles, tilling the Earth, and all the good feelings hard work instills in a man. I get it. Makes one feel…robust. Are we finished?"

"I—I suppose—"

"Good, good, I'll wait in the hansom."

The ride back to the town house was silent, and Loki thanked the Gods for small favors. He didn't want to pretend to listen anymore. On the other hand he feared his racing heart could be heard, possibly, somehow, even seen…

As soon as they arrived home, Loki flew from the hansom and up the stairs to the house. "Jane!" he called out. "Jane!"

Frigga came bustling from the drawing room, frowning at Loki. "Good heavens, Loki. You're likely to shout down the roof."

"Not likely. Tell me, Mother, where is Jane?"

"She's gone for a stroll in Hyde Park with Lady Darcy Lewis. What is wrong, Loki? What do you need her for?"

"No special reason," Loki said hastily. "Is she chaperoned?"

"Her maid is with her, as is Lady Darcy's."

"Quite right, quite right…well, I think I will take myself off to Hyde Park and surprise my dear sister." The word "sister" was hard to get out. He felt as though he was now choking on it. A word he used so easily and freely before now felt alien to him.

Thor came inside and Loki passed by him to go back and take the hansom to Hyde Park. The connection he and Jane shared, and had always shared, told him that Jane and Darcy were not in the park just to go for a stroll. Although, in all fairness, no one went to Hyde Park just to stroll. It was a place to see and be seen. Thankfully, Lord Erik was still ensconced at Brook's…wait. Had he left perhaps, Loki didn't remember looking for him as they'd left…

Dammit.

Well, it wasn't as if Lord Erik would think to go to Hyde Park. As far as Loki knew the man didn't even know who Jane was. Though there was also Lord Steve to contend with…

Double dammit.

Loki massaged his forehead as the hansom hurried down to Hyde Park. Thinking about the trouble Jane could be getting into made him think that if he got out and ran down there to burn off this nervous energy, he would make it there before the hansom.

Finally, though, they arrived and Loki hastily told the drive he would not be long and he walked out into Hyde Park…

And had absolutely no idea how to find Jane in this vast space with the incredibly annoying large throng of people.

Loki felt lost as he looked around at the people milling about. He stepped onto a path and figured if he could at least get into the middle somewhere…

He stopped when he spied two horse riders toward the back of the park. One female, one male. Long brown hair trailed behind the female.

"I am going to wring her bloody neck," Loki growled as he marched forward. She was riding hell bent for leather and his heart stopped. If she didn't break her neck first that is!

Slightly out of breath, Loki came up beside Lady Darcy. "Lady Darcy."

Lady Darcy looked at him and her eyes widened. "Lord Loki!"

Loki nodded, still a bit out of breath. He gestured to Jane. "What the bloody hell is she doing?"

Lady Darcy bit her lip and looked away. "Oh, uh…well, that is…"

"Tell. Me. Now," Loki growled.

"Lord Steve challenged her to a race and you know how Jane is – I think you do anyway – she couldn't refuse."

The pounding of hooves sounding quite close to a thunderstorm sounded in Loki's ears and he looked up to find Jane racing past him. She spotted him and her mouth went into the shape of an 'O' and she looked at him as she fled past.

"Watch what you're doing!" he shouted after her. One wrong move and she'd be thrown from the horse and break her goddamn neck.

"Lord Loki?"

Loki looked down and found he was gripped Lady Darcy's forearm. He dropped it. "Sorry."

He watched Jane come to a stop with Lord Steve coming up behind her. Loki marched off in her direction. She saw him coming and though she appeared bit nervous, she lifted her chin in defiance nonetheless.

"Jane," he said sweetly. "Pray get down from the horse."

Her eyes narrowed. "No, I don't think I shall do that, Loki."

"Sister dear, Mother sent me to fetch you. Please come down from there."

"Is everything all right?" Lord Steve asked as he dismounted his horse and came over to help her down.

Loki shot him a glare and Lord Steve stopped in his tracks. "Is this your horse?" Loki asked Jane.

"No, it's one of mine," Steve said. "From my hansom."

Loki held up a hand to Jane and she took it limply. He yanked hard and she came tumbling down into his arms. She gripped his biceps and looked up at him in surprise. He glared down at her.

"Lady Jane could have broken her neck," Loki said as he helped Jane right herself. He took her hand. "Hyde Park is no place to race in the afternoon with such a crush. That being said however, I do not want my sister racing like that again no matter the venue. Do I make myself clear, Lord Steve?"

"Yes," Lord Steve said, looking guilty.

"I'm glad we understand each other, because if it happens again I will tear off your cock and shove it up your arse."

Lord Steve paled.

"I trust you can see Lady Darcy home safely?" Loki asked him.

"Of course."

Loki nodded once and pulled Jane with him.

"I cannot believe you just said that," Jane hissed at him.

"Oh, Jane. If you only knew the things I'd like to say in this moment and don't. And the things I'd like to do, namely take you over my knee."

"You wouldn't dare."

He stopped and she slammed into him. He moved until their faces were inches apart. "Do _not_ tempt me," he said harshly. He moved away abruptly before he gave in to the urge to kiss her right then and there in Hyde Park for everyone to see.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

"Don't you think perhaps you're being a little ridiculous?" Jane asked as she and Loki rode home together in the hansom.

"You could have broken your neck riding like that. There were far too many people about and the horse could have gotten easily spooked. So, no, I don't think I am being the least bit ridiculous. Not to mention you were riding like that for all of London to see. They're going to think Lady Jane Foster is a hoyden."

She sighed and folded her arms across her chest. "You embarrassed me in front of my friends."

"Lord Steve should never have invited you to risk your neck."

Once they arrived home, Jane all but hurled herself out of the hansom. Loki followed hastily after her and grabbed her arm before she could go inside the house. She yanked her arm free and faced him. "I think I liked it better when you were gone," she hissed and then ran into the house and up the stairs.

Thor came out of the house, one brow arched. "Dare I ask why Jane just ran up to her bedroom as if Satan himself was at her heels?"

Loki sighed and raked a hand through his hair, still reeling from her harsh words. "We had a little bit of a spat."

"About?"

"I'd rather not speak of it," Loki said. "If you'll excuse me…I think I would like a drink." He jogged back down to the hansom and directed the driver to take him to the nearest tavern.

xxxxxxxx

It was late by the time Loki stumbled through the door. He knew that his mother, Jane, and Thor had to be fast asleep by now, and he was rather glad for it. He was still drunk though the effects were starting to wear off, and he smelled of smoke and liquor. His mother would no doubt be upset with him whilst rolling her eyes and muttering about men and what they considered fun. Thor would be put out that Loki hadn't invited him along and Jane…

Jane was probably just happy that Loki hadn't ratted her out and most likely preferred him gone. She had said as much hadn't she?

When he thought of her angrily spoken words he still felt the sting of them. Logically he knew that she had just been upset and had probably spoken in the moment. He kept telling himself that though the fact that he kept having to do that told him her words had hurt him good.

What was happening to them? Or rather, what _had_ happened? Jane had always been his best friend and confidante. She used to follow him all over the place, used to seek out his company and hang on his every word. Now she couldn't get far enough away from him and he…well, he wanted things from her he had no business wanting.

Did she know? Did she suspect? Was that why she was so cold to him? Or was he really just being much too overprotective of her? Yet how could he stop? She had become a hoyden! A hellion! She was…Gods, she was acting just like he had once upon a time.

Loki made his way into the drawing room and beelined for the bar. He needed a drink to keep from getting too sober and maudlin. He stopped in his tracks when he spied Jane curled up in a chair near the fireplace, a blanket over her and her hair plaited. The fire was dying and one candle on the mantle was going to sputter itself out quite soon.

He stood rooted to the spot, and as though she could feel him watching her, her eyes opened and she jumped a little when she saw him. They stared at each other like that for a long while before Jane jumped up from the chair, the blanket falling to her feet, and ran over to him.

He caught her in his arms just as she leapt at him, throwing hers around him tightly. She was in her nightrail and a bathrobe. That was the first thought Loki had when she wound herself around him. "I'm sorry!" she exclaimed. "I do not wish you had stayed gone, Loki. I am glad you're home. Please don't leave us now after I've gone and said something so awful."

Loki awkwardly hugged her back, feeling somehow that if he did he would be some kind of pervert. It was silly of course considering they used to hug all the time. _Perhaps that's when it all started and you just didn't realize it,_ he thought. This unsettled him a bit and he unwound Jane's arms from his person.

"It's all right, Jane," he said.

"No, it's not all right. I mean, I still think you acted like an overprotective oaf, but I've been worried since you left that you were planning to just leave for good this time." She wrung her hands together and tears filled her eyes. "I don't want you to leave again, Loki. I missed you so much while you were gone."

"I will not leave you," he told her softly and reached out for her. He drew her close despite his better judgment. He never had been able to stand the sight of her tears. They undid him completely. This time he hugged her fully and she clung to him. He turned his head and could smell the lavender in her hair.

This was a bad idea.

"Mother was not pleased with me. I told her what happened. She wanted to know why you'd been gone so long and I couldn't keep it in any longer. She was worried."

Loki lifted his head and pressed the side of his face against the side of hers. "Did you bathe with lavender tonight?" he murmured.

"Yes," she said, sounding as if she thought he was crazy. He thought perhaps he was. That and drunk – drunk on her in any case for he felt inebriated all over again. He nuzzled the side of her face with his nose.

"Loki?"

"My Jane…you smell good."

"You don't. Stop, you're tickling me." She pushed at him and laughed a little.

He stood there, staring at her.

Her brow furrowed and she frowned. "You're very drunk."

"I am."

"Did you fall into a vat of alcohol?"

"No."

"Did you see Lady Sigyn?"

"No. Why? Would that have bothered you?"

She made a face he couldn't read and then she shrugged and shook her head. She looked toward the door. "I should go to bed…so should you."

He grabbed her arm before she could escape. "Would it have bothered you, Jane? If I'd gone to see Lady Sigyn?"

She looked alarmed by his grabbing her, but she answered him. "Yes."

"Why?"

"Because she's a terrible person and you deserve better than the likes of her."

"Who do I deserve then, hmmm? Lady Darcy?"

She pushed his hand off her. "I will not have this conversation with you while you're drunk. Go sleep it off, Loki."

"Jane."

"Yes?" she sounded irritated now.

"You deserve much better than Lord Erik."

She said nothing, but the look on her face told him that soon she'd be taking back her apology. "Good night, Loki."

"Come give me a hug first."

She bit her lip and hesitated, but then hugged him quickly and began to pull back. Loki held on and said next to her ear. "You are the most important person to me in the world, Jane. I have always loved you best and above all others. Please do not forget that."

"I won't." She sounded unsure. "Loki, let me go now, please."

He did, albeit reluctantly. She practically ran to the door and Loki wondered if she knew now the feelings he was having. He may have just scared Jane. His little sister. And he would do well to remember that was exactly what she was and all she was.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

The following afternoon Jane sat in the Conservatory with a book that she had yet to look at in her hand. Darcy had come by for a visit and to ask if Jane could join her for a walk in Hyde Park, but after yesterday's debacle, Frigga had decided it was best that Jane stay at home without any visitors and "reflect on her behavior".

All Jane was reflecting on was the night before in the drawing room with Loki.

She'd…felt something. When he'd nuzzled the side of her face in that adorable way she'd felt something. What she'd wanted to do was tilt her head further to the side and encourage more of his attentions. It rather disturbed her. Then he'd gone and told her how he loved her best and above all others and she was certain her heart was going to beat right out of her chest.

She knew this was most definitely not sisterly affection she was feeling for these were the feelings she'd had when she'd first seen Lord Erik across a ballroom. How many nights had she fantasized about Lord Erik bestowing upon her all sorts of kisses and affection?

Jane shut her book and rubbed her forehead, resting an elbow on the settee she was sitting upon. If she wanted to be completely honest with herself, and she wasn't sure she wanted to, she would acknowledge that when Steve had told her what Loki was doing in the garden with Lady Sigyn at that ball she had felt jealous. Then she had chalked it up to the fact that her past interactions with Lady Sigyn had left Jane cold – the woman was unfeeling and not good enough for Loki.

Then, last night, when she thought that perhaps he was with Lady Sigyn or some other woman, Jane had felt that stab of jealousy of again. She recognized it now for what it was and that just added to her concern.

Where were these feelings coming from? Loki was her brother. Well, not by blood, but in all the other ways that mattered he was. Was she sick? Was there something wrong with her? This wasn't something she could disclose to anyone, not even Darcy.

"There you are, my Jane."

Jane looked up wearily and found the object of her thoughts coming towards with a smile on his handsome face. For he was indeed very handsome. Jane was accustomed to women batting their eyelashes at Thor for he was the embodiment of a classically handsome male. Loki, on the other hand, was handsome in an interesting way. At first glance he might not seem like much, but if you looked closer and took the time to really see him then you saw it all.

"Loki."

He stopped midstride and cocked his head to the side. "Well. I hope it's not as dire as all that. Mother did mention that she did not allow you to visit or go out with Lady Darcy, but I hope you're not that upset by it."

Jane shook her head and attempted a smile. "No, no. I'm fine."

Loki came over and sat down beside her. He pressed a kiss to her temple and Jane's heart began to thud hard. "I'm glad," he murmured.

"Where were you this morning?" she asked in an attempt to make simple conversation.

"I went to meet with the shipping company my friend Anthony Stark put me in touch with in America. I am planning to make some investments in their company."

Jane looked up at him with interest. "Oh?"

"You look surprised."

"I suppose I am. I did not think you would be…well, working."

"I dislike being nothing more than the spare to the Asgard title. I wish for more. I wish to make my own way. What do you think? I could find out about some pretty silks from India for a pretty ball gown for you?" She made a face and Loki arched a brow. "Do silks not interest you?"

"I'd like to think I'm not as shallow and predictable as all that."

He laughed, tossing his head back as he did and Jane found she wanted to run her fingers through the curls at the nape of his neck. She twisted her hands into fists to keep from doing so. "Indeed you are not," he told her. "What then would interest you?"

"Well…Darcy's father took a trip to India and he came back with the most interesting looking scabbard. There were all these intricate marking on it and it was curved…why are you laughing?"

"Because leave it to you to wish for a weapon over pretty material," he said. He reached up and brushed some hair from her face and Jane wondered if this was normal. If other brothers did things like that or if it was singular to just her and Loki. Come to think of it, Thor never touched her at random like this. So maybe it was singular to her and Loki…but was it wrong?

"Why don't we go out for a bit?" he asked, his voice dropping to a husky timbre.

"But Mother—"

"I would be shirking my duties as your favorite brother if I did not sneak you out of the house for a bit of fun."

She smiled. "Where do you want to go?"

"I thought I would treat you to an ice at Gunter's."

Jane brightened at the suggestion. "Oh, really?"

Loki smiled broadly at her and tapped the tip of her nose with his finger. "Yes."

She nodded excitedly and jumped to her feet, leaving her book on the settee. Loki grinned up at her and took hold of her hand. "Follow my lead then, dearest."

xxxxxxxxxx

It was no big surprise that Gunter's was busy. Loki told her to wait for him in the hansom and he'd be back quickly with ices for the both of them. Jane sat back and watched the crowd at Hyde Park from the partially disclosed view of her seat. Her gaze drifted back to the entrance of Gunter's to see if she could see Loki and instead she found Lord Erik walking briskly away from the shoppe with an ice in his hand. Jane sat up straighter in her seat as she watched him and that's when she spied some folded bills falling from his jacket pocket.

Without thinking, Jane unlatched the hansom door and jumped out. She ran towards the money and picked it up off the ground and then ran after Lord Erik.

"Lord Erik!" she called out.

He stopped and turned and arched a brow at her.

Jane realized her error then. A young lady did not shout the name of anyone in public, but most of all she did not shout the name of a man she had not been formerly introduced to. A young lady also did not run in public – in fact, a young lady did not run at all. She heard her mother in her head saying how running was "common".

She felt a blush rise up fiercely, making her feel hot. She stopped running and walked up to Lord Erik with his money in hand. "These fell out of your pocket," she said, looking down at the money she thrust toward him instead of at him.

He took the money from her. "It's Lady Jane Odinson, is it not?" he asked. His voice was deep, yet not melodious as Loki's was.

"Yes, my Lord. I apologize for shouting after you. It was unseemly of me."

"Lady Jane, will you please look at me?"

Jane looked up at the man that had been the object of her affections since the start of the Season and found herself comparing him to Loki. It was utterly absurd and it disturbed her deeply to be doing such a thing. Lord Erik was an extremely handsome man and most importantly he was not her brother!

He smiled at her and Jane felt a part of her melt. Good. Perhaps her crush on Lord Erik was still intact. "Thank you, Lady Jane, for alerting me to my missing bills."

"You're welcome," she said.

"Will you be at Lord Xavier's ball this evening?"

"I will," Jane said with a nod.

"Then may I ask for a formal introduction?"

Jane felt her pulse speed up with excitement and anticipation. "Yes," she said and was surprised by the breathless quality to her voice.

He smiled and bowed. "Then I shall see you tonight, Lady Jane."

She nodded and smiled at him and watched him walk away, swallowed by the throng of people in Hyde Park.

"Jane? What are you doing out of the hansom? I thought you were going to wait for me."

Jane turned to find Loki looking at her with questioningly. He hadn't seen her speaking with Lord Erik. If he had he would have said something unfavorable. Good. She didn't want to tell him. If she did he might ruin her chance at a formal introduction tonight and she did not want that.

"I wished to stretch my legs," she told him and took the ice he held out to her. She smiled. "Thank you, Loki."

He leaned forward and patted his cheek with his finger. With a nervous laugh she leaned up and kissed his cheek.

"We are all right then, Jane?" he asked.

"Right as rain, Loki."

"And I am still your favorite?"

"Of course."

He grinned. "How about we find a bench to sit on and watch for any drama that might unfold."

She grinned and nodded and followed him to find a bench. Tonight she was finally going to meet Lord Erik. Perhaps he'd even ask her for a dance! Now she could put these odd feelings for Loki aside and concentrate on that instead.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

Jane rolled her eyes as she descended the stairs later that evening and found Loki standing there watching her critically. "I am not indecent," she told him and looked to Frigga, who was standing next to him, for help.

Frigga merely laughed and nudged Loki in the arm. "Stop, Loki. Jane looks beautiful and not at all indecent."

Loki came to the edge of the staircase and smiled at Jane warmly. "You're right, mother. Jane does look beautiful."

Jane smiled at him and slipped her arm through his proffered arm. Loki placed his hand over hers on his arm and it felt a tad possessive to Jane. _No_, she told herself, _think about Lord Erik. Think of your introduction and your possible dance with him. _She was a wee bit concerned though about how this was all going to happen. She feared Loki sending Lord Erik when he came for the introduction, and she feared if he did ask for a dance Loki would tell her no. She bit her lip and wondered if there was some way she could make sure Loki was otherwise engaged when Lord Erik came over…

Perhaps she could convince him to dance with Darcy. Or tell her mother to encourage Loki to dance with some young maiden. _Oh, Goodness, what if Lady Sigyn in there? _Jane wondered and felt her stomach drop to her feet. _Don't think of it,_ she scolded herself. _What Loki does is his own business, not yours. Focus on Lord Erik. _

"You're quiet this evening, Jane. You all right?" Thor asked once they were in the carriage on their way to Lord Xavier's ball.

"I am," Jane said, a little too quickly and then smiled. "I was just thinking about all the dancing I want to do tonight and I thought how nice it would be if my big brothers asked Darcy to dance."

"Were you now?" Loki murmured, watching her closely.

Jane nodded. "I think she intimidates some of the men. If she was seen dancing with the both of you I think it would help her fill her dance card tremendously."

"Done," Thor said and nodded.

Jane cocked her head to the side and looked at Loki expectantly. He drew in a sigh and nodded. "I will ask her for a dance, Jane."

She smiled broadly. Perfect. Now to put it all together…

xxxxxxxxx

"I don't mind dancing with your brothers, Jane," Darcy told Jane after Jane had brought her up to speed about Lord Erik and diverting Loki from thwarting him from gaining an introduction and a dance. "But how will we know when Lord Erik is going to ask for an introduction?"

Jane bit her lip. "We'll just have to watch him."

Darcy looked concerned. "I don't know, Jane. This might not work."

"It will, Darcy. Just have a little faith."

"But what if he asks for an introduction in the middle of a dance? How can I then divert Loki by having him dance with me?"

"Pretend you hurt yourself, stepped on something – anything, Darcy, please!"

Darcy sighed. "Do you really think he'd snub Lord Erik in front of everyone at a ball?"

Jane shrugged and looked at her helplessly. "I don't know, but I can't take that chance. Loki has never cared for propriety. He does what he wants."

After three dances with Loki, Lord Steve, and then Thor, Jane was growing impatient for Lord Erik to approach her. She had been watching him all night and noted he had yet to dance. She began to wonder if he would even ask her to do so, and then as time stretched on she wondered if he had forgotten about her entirely.

"Jane, are you sure you're feeling well?" Loki asked at one point.

She looked up at him. "Yes, why?"

"Because you've seemed distracted all night. During our dance you missed a few steps."

She shrugged. "Perhaps I am a little tired—" she broke off when she saw Lord Erik and Lord Xavier headed their way over Loki's shoulder. Drat. And it was in the middle of a dance.

"Jane?" Loki prompted, looking worried. He started to turn to look at what she was looking at when Darcy jumped up from her chair and popped up behind him, distracting him.

"I think we should get Jane something to drink, Lord Loki," Darcy said quickly. "She looks a little flushed from the crush don't you think?"

"Oh yes, brilliant idea, Darcy!" Jane exclaimed and looked sweetly at Loki. "Do you mind?"

"Well—" he began, but then Darcy pushed him past Jane. He looked at Darcy sharply and she just smiled coquettishly. "Oh, dear me, I do apologize. I am just such a klutz sometimes. Perhaps I should lean on you a bit through this crush," she said and slid her arm through his.

Loki looked bewildered and annoyed, and with one last look at Jane, began navigating both he and Darcy to the refreshment table.

Jane sighed with relief just as she heard Lord Xavier speaking with her mother and Thor. She turned and smiled brightly, just as Thor called her over.

At. Last.

"Lady Jane," Lord Erik began after the formal introductions were made, "I was hoping to ask you for a dance."

Jane smiled. "Yes, Lord Erik, I would be happy to dance with you."

He grinned and as though the universe were lining up just right for this moment, the previous dance ended and the strains of a new one began. Lord Erik offered his arm to her and Jane took it happily. This was the moment she had been waiting for all Season.

She just wished she could relax and enjoy it without having Loki and what he would think and do niggling in the back of her mind. Covertly she looked for him and Darcy and found them together at the refreshment table. She was prattling on about something and Loki just looked annoyed.

Then he turned and looked her way as if he knew she was looking at him.

He at first looked shocked to see her on the arm of Lord Erik. Then his eyes narrowed. Then he just looked downright furious.

"Are you all right, Lady Jane?" Lord Erik asked her as they made their way to the dance floor where people were taking their places for a quadrille.

She flashed him a brilliant smile. "I am, Lord Erik, thank you."

He smiled at her and Jane put Loki out of her head and focused on not missing any steps and smiling at Lord Erik.

A few times as she turned in the direction of her family, she could see Loki out of the corner of her eye and feel his eyes upon her. When the dance was over Lord Erik kissed her hand as she curtseyed and then led her back to Frigga. He thanked her, winked, and was off. She felt someone seize her hand abruptly and yank slightly. Jane looked up to find an irate looking Loki.

"I wonder," he said evenly, "why I feel as though I have been worked."

Jane widened her eyes in what she hoped looked like pure innocence. "Whatever do you mean?"

His eyes narrowed and Jane worked on giving nothing away.

"You know perfectly well what I am saying, Jane. That whole show you and Lady Darcy put on – you were quite eager for me to be out of the way. Why?"

"You're being ridiculous," she said and shook her head. "You always did have an active – what are you doing? Where are you dragging me?"

Loki pulled her through the crush and Jane turned to Thor and Frigga for help only to find them engaged in conversation with Lord Xavier. Darcy was on the dance floor.

"You're going to make a scene," she hissed at Loki and tried to pull her hand free from his grasp.

He continued on ignoring her. They came out in the hall and Loki continued on down the hall and into the second room on the right. It was a library and Jane managed to sweep the room with her eyes once before Loki demanded her attention.

"You knew he was coming over to ask for an introduction and a dance, didn't you Jane?" he asked, his voice low and deadly.

Her temper flared and she lifted her chin and glared at him. "Yes. I met him in the park this afternoon while you were getting us an ice at Gunter's."

Loki looked ready to explode. "And how did that come to be?"

"He dropped some money on the ground and I…let him know."

"How?"

"I called after him. I…ran after him."

"You what?!" Loki exploded.

"He'd dropped his money, Loki, I had to let him know before someone else picked it up and made off with it!"

"You don't run after a gentleman in public – if Lord Erik can even be called a gentleman—"

"He is!" Jane said obstinately. She stomped her foot. "I'm not a child, Loki—"

She broke off when Loki's hand snapped out and curled around the back of her neck. He drew her close to him, looking into her eyes with his piercing green eyes. He vibrated with anger and…and something she couldn't put her finger on. He was breathing heavy and Jane thought – _He is going to kiss me_ – but then Loki released her and moved away from her as though she was on fire. Her heart thudded hard in her chest and she placed a hand on her chest.

"Do not play games with me again, Jane," he told her, his back to her. "I do not like being toyed with, especially from you."

"I would have told you had you been reasonable, but—"

He held up a hand, cutting her off. "You have disappointed me." He turned and looked at her. "You and I have always told each other everything—"

"Not everything," she retorted. "You never told me about Lady Sigyn."

"My affair with Lady Sigyn was not for a young maiden's ears."

"So I have to tell you everything while you get to pick and choose? That's not very fair is it?"

"Life is often not—"

"Please don't," she said with a sigh. "You made it clear how you felt about Lord Erik. I wanted an introduction with him regardless, and I was not about to let you scare him off. Yes, I planned to keep you away so that I could have that introduction and dance and…" She swallowed hard folded her hands tightly together before her, "I am not sorry for it. I understand that you're disappointed and upset with me for my actions, but there have been things you've done, Loki, that have upset and disappointed me and I've said nothing. I'm not the same Jane that you could order about. I'm not a little girl anymore."

"Yes, well, you've made that perfectly clear haven't you?" he said softly and then walked out of the room without another word.

Jane's eyes welled up in tears and she sucked in a breath for composure. It did no good. She cried a little and then after, returned to the ball. Loki, she was told, had gone home.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

"Jane."

Jane looked up from her book and smiled at Thor as he approached her in the garden. He sat down beside her on the bench and she closed her book and placed it on her lap. "Hello, brother," she greeted him. "Finally got your head out of the paperwork on your desk?"

Thor grunted and raked a hand through his short blond hair. "I'd no idea there was so much work to do as an Earl," he grumbled.

"Is it too much?" Jane asked in concern. "Perhaps you should ask Loki for help."

"No, no, he's been busy himself with his own work with the shipping company."

Jane nodded. "And how is it going for him?"

"You'd know if you two were speaking."

Jane looked side long at Thor and found him looking at her with a bit of a grin on his face. She pursed her lips together and faced straight ahead once more.

"What's happened, Jane?" Thor asked gently. "Ever since the ball last week you two do not speak and you can barely seem to stay in the same room together. The only time you spend any extended amount of time together is when we all have dinner together. Will you tell me what's happened between you two?"

Jane sighed. "If I tell you what happened will you promise not to start lecturing me or making threats against Lord Erik?"

His eyes narrowed. "What does that pompous—" Jane arched her brow and Thor sighed. "Fine. I promise."

"Even if what I tell you involves deception and me acting a tad unladylike?"

Thor drew a deep breath and he looked as though he was digging deep for fortitude. "Yes," he finally said. "Quickly before I change my mind."

Jane told him everything from Loki taking her for an ice at Gunter's to the argument they'd had at the ball. When she was finished Thor remained silent, his mouth in a grim line.

"I do not like Lord Erik," he finally said. "He is no good for you. He's naught but a rake and would make you a poor husband."

"Thor—"

"However, Loki could have handled it better, and should have. Your deception was wrong, but he should have tried another approach."

"He's a bully," Jane muttered.

"You are special to him, Jane. You and he bonded in ways that Loki and I had failed to do. He was away for a very long time and I think he thought he'd return home and you would not have grown at all. I think he wanted you to be his little Jane still and half expected it. Now he's learning otherwise and it's an adjustment for him. His instinct is to protect you, but as usual Loki acts without thinking."

"So what do I do?"

"First, you don't bother with Lord Erik."

"Thor, I mean it. What do I do about Loki?"

"Just talk to him, Jane. He loves you and wants the best for you. I concede he might not ever approve of any man that wishes to wed you, but that man does not have to go through Loki in the first place." Thor grinned at her. "He has to go through me."

"Which is bad enough," Jane said with a smile.

"Indeed. Although I do not wish you to be locked up in a tower where no one can see you."

"When will you wed, Thor?" Jane asked with a sly smile.

Thor laughed, somewhat nervously. "Oh, I do not know…" He stood then and smiled down at her. "Just try not to be too hard on Loki, all right?"

Jane nodded. "I will try."

xxxxxxxxxx

When Jane returned to the house sometime after speaking with Thor she was told by the butler that Darcy had just arrived and was in the drawing room waiting for her. Always happy to see her friend, Jane made her way into the drawing room and found not only Darcy, but Loki as well. They were laughing together on the settee, and for a moment Jane felt as though she was intruding. Her smile faltered and she stepped closer to the pair.

"Jane!" Darcy said excitedly, and jumped up to greet her. She kissed Jane's cheek and gestured to Loki. "Your brother was just telling me about the gentleman he saw fall off one of the ships he bought."

Jane looked at Loki. "You bought a ship?"

"Several, actually," Loki replied. "A few need some work so I've been helping down at the docks."

"You know how to repair ships?" Jane asked in astonishment.

"I've learned a few things, and what I don't know I have people to help." He sounded a bit indignant, as though she had just insulted him and Jane, but before she could apologize he stood from the settee and bowed before Darcy. "Good day, Lady Darcy. It was, as always, a pleasure to see you."

He left the room without a word to Jane and the jealousy she felt coupled with the hurt of not even being bid a good day caused tears to sting Jane's eyes.

"Jane, I have something to tell you," Darcy said as soon as Loki had shut the door to the drawing room.

"Yes?" Jane said absently, turning away from her friend to sit down on the settee and discreetly wipe her eyes.

Darcy came over and sat down beside her, her big brown eyes wide with excitement. "I'm in love!"

Jane was shocked. Darcy hadn't ever said she'd set her cap for someone. "Who?"

"Your brother!"

Jane blinked. "Thor? Well, he is a good—"

"No, no. Not Thor. Loki."

Jane stared at her. Blinked. Stared some more. She heard a roaring in her ears and her mouth felt dry. "Loki? My brother Loki?"

"Yes, silly, that's what I just said. What do you think?" Darcy asked eagerly and took Jane's hands. "Do you think you could help me with him?"

Darcy wanted Jane's help with Loki? Loki. Her brother Loki. Loki, who Jane…no. But how could she not? It wasn't as though she could say "No, Darcy, I cannot help you with him because I have these terribly inappropriate feelings for him and I might tear your eyes out if you even so much as touch him".

"Uh, well…"

Darcy dropped her hands and reared back. "Do you think I am not good enough for your brother?"

"No! Not at all," Jane said quickly, while thinking 'Yes'. "It's just that Loki can be a bit…temperamental. He's moody."

"I don't care, I love him. Will you help me or no?"

How could Jane say no? She couldn't. "Of course I'll help you."

Darcy clapped her hands together excitedly. "I'm so glad. Put in a good word for me, will you? I must go now. Mother wants to order some new dresses. What is Loki's favorite color?"

"Green."

Darcy practically floated on air out the door and Jane felt as though someone had pulled the rug out from under her. Darcy had a crush on Loki. And from the way they were laughing together when she walked in, was it possible that Loki returned Darcy's feelings?

The idea that her best friend and her brother should care for another should not bother her as it did. But it did. She felt both heartbroken and as though she could rage with jealousy.

It was not a normal feeling to have. She should be happy and beyond excited at the idea of her best friend and brother possibly making a match. She should want to see Loki happy with someone.

Someone that was not her.

All right, then. This was a good thing. A very good thing. This meant she could put these feelings for Loki behind her and what better way to do that to help Darcy win his heart? Since Jane could definitely not have Loki in any capacity, then who better than Darcy? Loki would fall for her, she knew he would. How could he not? Darcy was fun, vivacious and lively. Loki seemed to like spirited women and Darcy was nothing if not spirited.

Resolved, Jane nodded to herself and began to plan the best way to help Darcy with Loki.

There was no getting around it. In order to help Darcy, Jane had to make amends with Loki. She stood. No time like the present, right?

She made her way out of the drawing room with purposeful steps and when she saw the butler just outside the door she asked him if he knew where Loki had gone off to.

"He has gone to see his ships, my lady," the butler replied.

"Please ready a hansom then. I want to see my brother."

"My Lady, if I may…"

"Yes?"

"The docks are not in the best part of town…perhaps you should take Lord Asgard with you?"

"He's up to his eyeballs in paperwork. No, I'll be fine just…just have one of the footmen come with me."

"Very well, my Lady."

Jane had of course heard stories of how rough the docks could be, but she wanted to get this plan underway as quickly as possible. The sooner she made amends with Loki then the sooner she could set him and Darcy up and be rid of these feelings for him. Thor would tell her that she was being as stubborn and thoughtless as Loki could be, but Jane didn't care. Plus, she would do well to remember that she shared some of Loki's traits. It was what reminded her that they were brother and sister.

Admittedly the closer she got to the docks, the rougher the people looked. In fact, she no longer saw many women. More men, rough looking men. Frightening looking men with little to no teeth who looked angry at the world and each other.

When the hansom stopped in front of a three story building with the name Barnes Trading Company on a large sign outside, Jane swallowed hard and stepped out of the hansom. "This is it?" she asked Richard, the footman, that had joined her for protection.

"Yes, mi'lady. This is where Lord Loki has been dropped off every day." He pointed to the building. "That's the building he goes in."

"Very well then," Jane said and clutched her reticule hard in her hand. "Lead the way, please."

"Well, well, well, look at the fine lady…" a deep male voice cackled nearby.

Jane ignored the comment and concentrated on following Richard to the stairs that led to the second floor of the building.

"Wot's a fine miss like you doin' 'ere?" another said.

Jane's heart started to thud hard in her chest. She had just taken one step on the stairs when a hand wrapped itself around her arm and yanked her off the stair. She found herself face-to-face with a tall, muscled, pock-marked man whose breath reeked of cabbage.

"I asked you a question," he snarled. "Are ye lookin' for a bit o' rough and tumble?"

"N—no," she said. "Kindly let me go, sir."

"No," he said simply. "See, I think you could use a bit o' rough and tumble."

"Mind your manners and share, you bloody git," said the equally large and ugly man behind him.

"Course," the one holding her arm sneered.

"Let her go," Richard said sternly and came up beside her.

"Peter," the one holding her said. The man behind him moved toward Richard and punched him. Richard fell to the ground in a heap.

Jane did the only thing she could think to do. She screamed and whacked the man with her reticule. He yelped and his hands went to his face, letting her go. Jane took the opportunity and ran for the stairs.

"Get her!" she heard the man shout and Jane looked behind her, which caused her to trip on her skirts and fall to her knees on the stairs. That gave him all the advantage he needed for her grabbed a handful of her hair and yanked her back.

A loud shot rang out and Jane's heart all but stopped. Did they have guns? Were they going to kill her? Had she just been shot? She waited to feel the pain of a gunshot wound and squeezed her eyes shut. Instead, she heard a god awful scream as the man holding her hair let go of her hair.

She popped her eyes open and looked up. Loki stood there, a smoking gun in his hand. He looked downright murderous. She turned and found to her surprise the man that had gone after her on the ground, clutching his thigh from where blood spilled out.

Jane just stared down at him in shock. She had never seen a man shot before. She had never seen so much blood…

She then felt arms go around her and she was held tightly in strong, familiar, and comforting arms. Loki. She clung to him, burying her face in his chest.

"You even so much as look at my sister again, I will kill you," he seethed to the groaning man on the ground. "Do you understand me?"

"Yes, yes," the man sobbed. "Peter, 'elp me!"

Loki pulled her with him to the stairs and he pushed her ahead of him, keeping his attention on Peter and his friend. When they were up the stairs, Jane turned to him and pointed down at Richard. "Loki, Richard! We have to help him! They punched him and—"

"Ssshh…ssshhh," Loki hushed and brought her into his arms. "I will send someone down to help, Jane."

She nodded and then began to shake. "Loki, what's wrong with me?"

"You're in shock."

"But I wasn't hurt."

"You were frightened. Same thing. What are you doing here? Don't you know how unsafe it is?"

"I wanted to—to m-make amends," she said and began to cry. "You won't talk to me and I'm tired of it."

"Darling," he murmured and pulled her with him into what looked like an office. He nodded to the man who sat behind a desk and pointed to the door. "Will you help my footman downstairs? He was cold cocked. He's the one laying in a heap at the bottom of the stairs."

"Yes, my Lord," the man said and jumped up to do Loki's bidding.

"Jane," Loki murmured and wrapped her up in his arms. Jane held onto him for dear life. As frightened as she had certainly been, being in Loki's arms had more to do with how she had just missed him the past week than her ordeal downstairs. That, plus the fact that she knew she might end up losing a part of Loki forever when he inevitably fell for Darcy.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

Loki stroked Jane's hair as she clung to him as though she would never let him go, and Loki sucked in a shuddering breath and squeezed his eyes shut.

He loved her. He was in love with Jane. He knew it was impossible and wrong, but he couldn't stop what he felt.

The past week had been hell as Loki had tried to come to terms with his jealousy over Lord Erik, the possibility of losing the closeness that he and Jane had always had, and the very real and very undeniable feelings he had for Jane.

It hadn't taken him very long to come to the conclusion that what he felt for Jane was love. Pure, unadulterated love.

He also knew he couldn't have her. She was his sister - not by blood, of course, but they had been raised together as such and Society saw them as family and nothing else. No one seemed to remember a time when Jane was not an Odinson.

"I love you, Jane," he whispered in her ear. He knew she would never suspect how he truly meant those three words. "I will always love you no matter how we might fight."

She pulled back and looked up at him, her tiny hands still curled in his waistcoat. Loki reached into his breast pocket and extracted a handkerchief. He set about drying her tears as she spoke.

"You would barely even look at me this afternoon," she said accusingly.

"What is it you want to say, Jane? That I've been acting like a child?" He sighed. "Very well then. I've been acting like a child."

"Was that difficult for you to admit?" she asked with a sniff.

He couldn't help but smile at how adorable she was. "You're a brat, you know that?"

"Yes. You used to tell me I was all the time."

He grinned. "You sound almost proud."

"I guess I am in a way because you're a brat, too."

His smile fell slowly. "Made you feel like I was really your brother, didn't it?"

She nodded, her expression sad. A tear escaped her eye and Loki wiped it away with the pad of this thumb. He took her face in his hands and started to lean down. He wanted to kiss her. Desperately.

He kissed her forehead instead and released her, putting his handkerchief in her hand. He walked away, needing to gain some distance between them. "Jane, you gave me a fright down there," he told her. "I don't want you coming here again. This place is not fit for ladies."

"Loki?"

He turned back to face her. "Yes?"

"I'm sorry, too. We're both stubborn and thick-headed…"

He sighed. "Yes, we are. I suppose I should practice some restraint when it comes to you and your suitors."

"I would hardly call Lord Erik a suitor. He hasn't even sent me flowers or called on me since the ball. I obviously didn't impress him that much."

"Then he's a fool. I can't say though that I'm not glad for it. He's a rake, Jane, and you deserve better. When it comes to your safety and well-being I will not show restraint. If I believe you are in danger of being harmed I will intervene."

"I know, Loki."

"I love you, Jane."

"I know, Loki. And I love you, too."

He held out his hand. "Come. I'll take you home."

"No, wait…"

"Yes?"

"I want to see your ships. I want to see the work you've done." She turned in a circle, looking about the sparse but functional office. "This is where you do all your paperwork?"

"What gave it away?"

She pointed to the stack of papers on the desk. "Reminds me of Thor's pile in his study."

"This is the boring part," Loki said and held out his hand again. "I'll show you the ships."

Jane slipped her gloved hand into his and smiled. He led her outside and they walked towards the opposite end of the building and down to an actual dock where it looked like a fleet of ships resided. Loki stood close to her as he pointed out which ones were his.

"Can we go on one, please?" Jane asked excitedly. "I've never been on a ship before."

Loki could deny her nothing. Taking her hand again, he led her up the plank of one of the ships and showed her around from top to bottom and back up again. The look of joy and wonder on her face made Loki feel proud that he could give her this experience.

"I want to set sail somewhere," Jane sighed as she looked out over the water from the top deck.

"Where would you like to go?" Loki asked as he brushed some hair from her face. He really needed to stop. He was acting like a doting lover, not a brother. He dropped his hand and put some space between them.

"I would like to see America," she declared. "And Paris." She sighed. "I haven't been anywhere. I've only been home to Derbyshire and home here in London. I envy you that you got to travel."

Loki sighed and shook his head. "Don't envy me too much, Jane. Remember I felt as though I had to leave. Father…"

"Yes, I know. You and Father never saw eye to eye on anything. Nor did you and Thor."

"No, we didn't," he said softly.

"Loki…"

"Yes, darling?"

"You do love Thor, don't you?"

"Of course I do, Jane," Loki replied reassuringly. "Thor and I have had our differences but he is still my brother. Our relationship is just…complicated."

"Why? I've never understood it."

"I was always his shadow. At least in Father's eyes."

"Thor said today that you and I always had a special bond that you and he never had. I never thought of you as being in Thor's shadow."

Loki smiled at her. "That's why you were always my favorite. You saw me."

"How could anyone miss you?" she asked and then laughed. "You're Loki. I mean…I suppose I do not understand. I love Thor and I think he is an amazingly wonderful man and brother, but…"

"I'm your favorite?" Loki asked with a cheeky grin.

"Don't you dare say a word," Jane told him seriously and pointed at him.

"I don't think its escaped anyone's notice, my dear. You followed me around all over the place."

"Because you were always doing something fun! You taught me so many things."

Silence fell and Jane watched Loki grow serious, almost maudlin. "We were always a pair, weren't we?" he asked softly.

"I want that back again," Jane said, feeling teary-eyed all over again. She knew it was selfish and wrong, but no matter what happened, no matter if Loki ended up with Darcy or not, Jane wanted to know that she was first to Loki in some capacity. "You have always been my hero. My best friend. I know we've argued and had our differences since you've returned home, but I don't ever want to lose you, Loki. You are so very important to me and I can't stand it when we fight and—"

She broke off when Loki shushed her gently and pulled her into his arms. "Jane…my Jane…stop, darling. You're getting yourself all worked up again." He tilted her chin up with the tip of his finger and gazed down at her. "You'll never lose me, Jane. When you marry and have a passel of children I will always be your Loki no matter what."

"And you? What about when you marry and have a passel of children? Will I still be your Jane?"

His eyes were sad and he nodded. "Yes, dearest."

He looked so sad and uncertain that Jane hugged him tight and buried her face in his chest. She didn't want to think about how things would change when each of them were wed. She just got him back; she didn't want to think about losing him all over again.

"Why don't we go home, hmm?" Loki said, his chin resting on the top of her head. "Perhaps we could go for a walk or a ride. What do you say?"

She nodded and looked up at him. "Yes, that sounds nice."

He smiled and led off the ship. Jane felt better now that they were speaking and had healed the rift between them. Now she had to find a way to work Darcy into the conversation and talk up her friend to Loki without giving away too much.

Like how she wanted Loki all to herself and how the idea of him marrying Darcy filled her with jealousy and dread. Perhaps, she thought, it was time to get really serious about marriage for herself now.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**

There was a melancholy about Jane that seemed to follow her from that day on the docks, and Loki worried that she was more traumatized than she was letting on. Thor and Frigga had noticed as well and were also worried. Thor, though, didn't know how to bring it up to her and wanted to track down the pair that had attempted to harm Jane and have them tossed into the gaol. How he would do that without knowing what they looked like was beyond Loki. Frigga attempted to talk to Jane about it but Jane assured her that she was fine and left the breakfast table, saying she was going to the library to read.

"What's wrong, imp?" Loki asked as he sat down beside Jane on the window seat in the library.

Jane looked up at him. "Pardon?"

"What is troubling you? Is it what happened on the docks with those two men? I am working on a sketch for Thor. How he plans to find two thugs with the only description being 'one has a wound in his thigh' is beyond me."

She sighed and shook her head. "Admittedly I did have a few nightmares about it after, but I'm fine now. Nothing troubles me."

"You've been sulking. I thought only I could brood so well."

She looked as though she wanted to say something and opened her mouth only to snap it shut. She frowned down at her book and then looked back up at him again. "I've been thinking about marriage."

Loki tried not to show how this was the absolute last conversation he wanted to have. He braced himself for what she might say, and forced himself to be calm and act normal. "What about marriage have you been thinking about?"

"Well, so much focus has been put on me regarding marriage when you and Thor are older and should be thinking about marriage first."

This, Loki had not been expecting. "All right…are you saying you want to play matchmaker for Thor?"

"Maybe not that so much as just wanting to…to put a bug in both your ears."

Was it his imagination or did she look about an uncomfortable as he felt having this conversation? "Where is this coming from?" he asked bluntly.

She rubbed her forehead and fidgeted with the book in her hand, turning it over and over. "I've just been thinking about so much pressure has been put on me to make a match, but Thor is the Earl and you're next in line…"

"I do not wish to marry," Loki said somewhat bitterly.

"At all?"

"No."

"Since when?"

_Since I realized that if I could not have you I did not want anyone else_, he thought. "Since always."

"Not true. You used to talk about having children and all the things you'd teach them."

"That was then. This is now."

"Are you that changeable?" Jane asked.

"Not changeable. Just…I know what I want."

She looked as though she was waiting for him to continue, but Loki had nothing more to say.

She furrowed her brow and stared across the library, looking contemplative. "You and Darcy have that in common," she said suddenly.

Loki didn't know what to say to this. What did Lady Darcy have to do with anything? _Unless she could help convince Jane not to marry as well, _he thought._ No, I could not do that to Jane. She deserves to have some man make her his entire world. She should be a mother. _

Just thinking of someone else sharing those things with Jane twisted Loki's gut. He thought about he and Jane living together in the country as brother and sister. Spending their days together and growing old together.

He also thought of never being able to touch her. Kiss her.

What would be worse he wondered? Living with her as his sister and never being able to love her the way he wanted to, or having her marry some unworthy git but knowing she was happy?

He looked at Jane. Knowing she was happy was better, even if it did kill him slowly to think of the life that she would lead without him.

"So then perhaps you could dance with her next time so her mother will leave her alone about dancing with all the eligible men?"

Loki realized that while he'd been thinking about a life without Jane, she had been talking. "Pardon?" he said.

She arched a brow. "You weren't listening."

"No, I wasn't."

She rolled her eyes. "Since Darcy has decided she does not want to marry she still has the problem of her parents wanting her to. Will you dance with her to keep them off her back a few times at the Banner ball tonight?"

"Uh…sure." Loki felt as though he was missing something, as though there was something more going on to this conversation but he could not put his finger on it. It felt disjointed. Odd.

The oddness was compounded when Jane jumped up and dropped a kiss on the top of his head. "Thank you," she murmured and left the room entirely.

"What the bloody hell just happened?" Loki asked the empty room.

xxxxxxxx

Later that night as Jane got ready for the ball the family was attending she gave herself a pep talk: _It will not bother me seeing Loki and Darcy dancing and talking together. It will not bother me. They will make a great match. They will get married and have babies and be incredibly happy. Even if Loki's sudden desire to not marry is a hindrance. Where the devil had that come from anyway?_

Darcy, as far as Jane was concerned, owed her a tremendous favor. Though she was sure Darcy would be appalled if she knew the why – because Jane did not want Loki with any woman. She could not have him, no, but did that mean she had to subject herself to seeing him with someone else, and especially her best friend?

She glared at herself in the mirror while her maid pinned her hair into place. She needed to stop this. Loki's happiness was important. It mattered to her. If Darcy made Loki happy then Jane would be happy too.

This silly little…whatever it was… needed to stop. _Now_.

"Did I do something wrong, mi'lady?" her maid asked worriedly.

Jane realized she was still glaring. She shook her head and smiled. "I'm sorry, no. My thoughts took a bad turn is all."

She stood and smiled at her maid, and then made for the door. Time to play the part of matchmaker for Loki and Darcy. Even if killed her.

xxxxxxxxxx

"Were you able to speak with Loki for me?" Darcy asked as soon as she got a moment to speak with Jane alone.

Jane nodded. "Yes. He will dance with you tonight."

Darcy smiled broadly. "What did you say exactly?"

"Well, it was a bit tricky actually…"

"How do you mean?"

"Loki declared he did not wish to be wed! This was news to me, so I had to find a way to push him your way despite his sudden misgivings about marriage. Granted, he hasn't spoke much about it since he's returned, but before he used to go on at length about wanting a wife and children—"

"How many children does he want?" Darcy asked with a frown.

"Well, before this, he wanted at least four."

Darcy blanched. "Four? Do you think I could talk him down to two?"

"Oh Goodness gracious, Darcy, I managed to get him to agree to dance with you what more do you want of me?"

Darcy looked taken aback. "I'm sorry; I didn't realize helping me with your brother was a hardship—"

"Did you not hear me? I said he is suddenly against marriage. I had to tell him that you were too and could he please dance with you to get your parents off your back about it. I did what I could with what I had to work with. Be happy with that." And, with that, Jane marched away from her friend.

"You look troubled, Jane. Everything all right with Darcy?" Thor asked as she came up beside him.

"Everything is fine. I am dreadfully bored by this ball is all."

"Me as well."

She looked up at her brother. "You wouldn't be if you danced."

"Who am I to dance with?"

"Lady Sif. She's been watching you ever since you arrived."

Thor looked surprised. "She has?"

Jane rolled her eyes. "My brothers are hopeless," she muttered and headed for the refreshment table. She felt pretty hopeless herself actually.

"Lady Jane."

Jane looked up from the glass of lemonade she was about to pick up off the refreshment table and found Steve standing on the other side of it, grinning at her. "Hello, Lord Steve," she said. "I hope you are quite well."

"I will be if you dance with me."

Jane resisted the urge to shrug. She didn't feel like doing much of anything but sit alone in a room somewhere alone, but she supposed this was better than nothing.

She heard Darcy's loud laugh and looked over her shoulder. Loki and Darcy were speaking and laughing together.

Jane looked back at Steve. "Please just take me away from here."

He smiled. "Done."

Discreetly he led her out of the ballroom and out onto the veranda. Jane placed her hand on the rail and gazed out into the gardens, wishing she could just run to the carriages and go home.

"Jane, I must speak with you about something very important," Steve said earnestly.

Jane sighed inwardly. She didn't want to talk about something 'very important'. She just wanted to be in silence for a while and quiet her thoughts and her emotions that she couldn't seem to control at all lately.

"What is it?" she asked, hoping she didn't sound too snippy.

"I wish to ask for your hand in marriage, Jane. And I hope that you will say yes."

That was the very last thing Jane had expected and all she could do was gape at Steve and ask, very unladylike, "What?!"


	12. Chapter 12

"I want to marry you, Jane. I love you," Steve said earnestly. He grabbed hold of her hands. "Will you? Marry me, that is?"

Jane's mouth dropped open, but no sound came out. "But – but what about Lady Margaret?"

"I'm not in love with Lady Margaret, Jane. I'm in love with you."

"But you were in love with her!"

He shook his head. "A passing fancy. As I learned more about you, I realized that with you is where my heart lies."

Jane stood there, reeling. Steve was in love with her. And he wanted to marry her! Had Loki not warned her this could end up being the case?

Loki. Loki, her brother whom she had inappropriate feelings for. And now Darcy, her best friend who was in love with Loki. At that moment, Loki could very well be falling in love with Darcy right back.

And now here Steve was, asking for her hand in marriage. He was a good man. A smart man. A kind man. He was handsome and gentle and treated her like a queen. He would be a good husband.

He was an escape.

And yet, she couldn't force herself to say yes, she would marry him. The words were trapped in her throat.

She wanted to go home. She wanted to hide. She wanted to think clearly and feel differently.

"Jane?" Steve said with concern. "Are you well?"

"No, I'm not well. I feel ill."

His face fell. "Because of me?"

"No, I – no. It's sudden, yes, but it's not you, Steve. I just – I need to think and I haven't been feeling well all day…"

"Shall I escort you inside so that your brother can take you home?"

"Yes, yes, I think that is probably best," she said and nodded.

"Might I call on you tomorrow, Jane?" Steve asked as he maneuvered them through the crush of the ball.

"Perhaps," she said vaguely and felt her heart ache. She liked Steve so very much and the last thing she wanted to do was hurt him.

"Lord Asgard," Steve said as he came up to Thor, "Lady Jane is feeling unwell and wishes to return home."

Thor immediately looked down at Jane worriedly and pulled her away from Steve. "Jane, what is wrong?"

"I do not feel right, Thor, just as Lord Steve said. I wish to return home."

Frigga came up beside her son then, and looked at Jane. "Darling, what's wrong?"

Jane held back the tears that were close to falling. "I do not feel well, Mother, and I wish to go home."

"My darling, what is it?" Frigga asked and put her hand to Jane's head. "You do not feel warm. What is it, Jane?"

"I… I am hot and my head aches…"

"I will take her home," Thor said.

"I will come," Frigga said.

"No, Mother, no," Jane said hurriedly. "Stay. I just need to rest is all. Please, don't leave. Stay and have fun with your friends. Please."

Frigga frowned. "Jane, as your Mother I am to go with you."

"Mother, it's all right," Thor said, "I will see Jane home. I will stay with her as well. I will send the carriage back and send word if we need you."

Frigga didn't look convinced.

"Really, Mother, it's fine," Jane said.

Frigga sighed. "Fine. But please, Thor, if she is not doing well—"

"I will send word," Thor vowed.

Frigga hugged her daughter and kissed the side of her head. "Rest, my darling."

"I will," Jane promised.

Thor wrapped an arm about Jane's shoulders and began to lead her to the doors. "Come, my dear, let's get you home."

"Thor, really, you do not have to escort me home. Just put me in our carriage and send me on my way. There is no reason you should have to leave."

Thor frowned and looked down at her. "Let me see you home. I will return once you are settled.."

Jane smiled at her brother and wished with all her might she could feel the sisterly feelings she felt for Thor for Loki too.

xxxxxxx

"Should I be concerned that you were with Lord Steve on the veranda?" Thor asked once Jane was settled into bed with a book and hot tea.

Jane bit her lip. "No."

Thor arched his brows and she arched hers back until he laughed. "Jane, I am not like Loki. I will not chastise you like a child. However, you are a lady and I do not want—"

"He asked me to marry him," Jane blurted out. Not only did she not want to hear a lecture, but she also needed to tell someone, anyone, about her marriage proposal.

Thor looked as stunned as Jane had felt earlier. "What did you say?" Then his brow furrowed. "He should be talking to me first, dammit!"

Jane started at Thor's sudden furious outburst. "Are you angry?"

"Yes! He should be speaking to me first before—"

"No, Thor, he shouldn't. I'm the one that will answer yea or nay. It is up to me first, then he may speak to you."

"You know very well that is not how it's done."

"Oh, bother," Jane retorted. "I'm the one that has the decision to make!"

"So do I! I have the decision to make on whether or not Lord Steve is good enough for you!"

"And to settle the matter of my dowry of course," Jane spat.

"I do not care about the money, Jane. I care about your well-being."

Jane folded her arms across her chest.

"Jane," Thor said, now gentle. "Do you love him?"

She softened and looked at Thor, tears stinging her eyes. "I…I think I could learn to?"

"Are you asking me if you could or telling me you could?"

"I'm not sure. He is a good man, Thor. I think he would make an excellent husband."

"Yes, but is he the husband you would want?"

Tears spilled down her cheeks. "I do not know. I am frightened."

"Of what, dearest?"

"Everything. Of everything changing. I like things the way they are. I like us all together for the first time in so long and I…I don't want to grow up and be a wife."

"Jane, we will always be a family. Nothing can change that. Marrying someone just means our family expands. What did you tell him?"

Jane felt as though nothing was ever going to be the same and she couldn't very well tell Thor why. "I didn't answer him. I couldn't. I was too shocked…" She wiped at her eyes. "I think I need sleep, Thor," she said and laid back. "I must be over tired to have become so emotional."

"I will stay for when you wake up."

"You do not have to do that," she told him.

"I want to. You are distraught and I wish to be here at home in case you have need of me."

She smiled sadly. "Thank you."

Thor stood and pressed a brotherly kiss to Jane's forehead. "Sleep now, Jane."

Jane watched him leave and then settled back further into the covers. She did feel rather exhausted, actually. It was all these feeling she was carrying around, all the guilt and feeling somehow dirty for having them. She sat up to blow out the candle on her nightstand and tossed her book to the floor before burrowing under the covers and praying for sleep.

xxxxxxxx

Loki and Frigga entered the house a short time after Jane had fallen asleep. Frigga had not been able to relax knowing Jane was feeling ill, and Loki had barely been able to hide his eagerness to get home after hearing that Jane was unwell.

"Jane?" Loki called out as soon as he and Frigga stepped inside. "Thor?"

Thor came out of the study. "Loki, Mother! What is wrong?"

"Is Jane well? Where is she? Mother said she was feeling unwell and you took her home," Loki said, peering behind Thor into the study.

"She is upstairs sleeping right now," Thor said.

"I will check on her," Frigga said and made her way to the stairs.

"What's the matter with her? Should we call a doctor?" Loki asked worriedly.

"Calm down, Loki. Jane is all right. She is just feeling the fear of growing up."

Loki stared at him. "Excuse me?"

Thor glanced towards the stairs. Their Mother was already out of sight. He leaned toward Loki and said, "Lord Steve asked her if she'd marry him."

Loki's hand went to his heart and he stepped back, feeling as though Thor had just struck him. "He…he asked her to marry him?"

Thor nodded.

"What did she say?"

"She has not given him an answer." Thor cocked his head to the side and furrowed his brow. "Loki, are you all right?"

"I…I need to…" Loki mumbled and staggered toward the stairs.

"Loki?"

"I'm fine," Loki all but snapped. He made his way up the stairs, forcing himself not to run to Jane's room. He wanted to see her, but alone. He feared he wouldn't be able to hide what he felt for Jane should he see her now. He was going to lose her…it was happening quicker than he'd thought.

Loki went to his room. And waited. And while he waited, he drank.

xxxxxx

It was late by the time Loki made his way into Jane's bedroom. He was not drunk, at least not any longer. He was tense and anxious, and though his body was tired, his mind would not stop. If Jane agreed to marry Lord Steve, he was going to lose her. Would they move to the country or stay in the city? Would they live far or close? How often would he be able to see his Jane? Would Lord Steve make her a good husband? If he harmed Jane in any way, Loki would kill him with his bare hands.

Loki placed the candle he held in his hand down upon her night stand and gazed down at his slumbering Jane. He sat down beside her on the bed and gently stroked some hair from her face.

He wanted to cry. Sob, really. His hands were shaking with the need to pull her to him and hold on tight.

She stirred and turned her head. She blinked her eyes open and stared at him. "Loki?"

"Yes, darling, it's me."

She sat up and threw her arms around his neck. "Loki," she breathed.

Loki wrapped his arms around her and held on tight. "Jane…my Jane…"

She pulled back and looked at him, looking as though she wanted to say something but not being able find the words. Loki took her face in his hands and gazed at her searchingly.

"Loki…" she gasped.

Unable to hold himself back any longer, Loki closed the gap between them and kissed Jane with all he had.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen**

Loki held Jane's face to his, not allowing her mouth to leave his for even a second. He plundered her mouth, devoured her really, and though at first she was hesitant, she then responded in kind, if not a bit uncertainly.

And then she turned her face away and he busied himself with nuzzling her cheek, her jaw, and then her neck. "Jane. Jane. Jane," he murmured over and over again.

"Loki," she gasped. "What are we doing?"

Loki froze and drew back. Jane looked at him, her eyes wide.

"I love you," he said plainly. "I'm _in_ love with you, Jane."

"But…but you're my brother."

"Not really. We are not bound by blood."

She hugged him tight, her chin on his shoulder. Loki stroked her back and kissed the tip of her ear. "What are you thinking?" he asked, fearing the answer and yet needing it at the same time.

"I'm thinking…I'm thinking I love you, too," she whispered. "That love is what I must have been feeling all this time and seeing as how I didn't know what being in love felt like, it scared me."

"You're rambling, my dearest," Loki murmured in her ear and then used his teeth to tug on her lobe. "Kiss me, Jane."

"I'm not good at it."

"I don't care. I'll teach you. I'll teach you everything you need to know. Please, Jane. I'm starving for you."

Jane pulled back to look at him and when Loki leaned in to claim her mouth she pushed at him with her small hands on his chest. He looked at her questioningly and Jane looked…determined. This time she took his face in her hands, spreading her hands over the shape of his head and studied him. "I can't help but think that despite how we feel we are quite doomed."

Loki opened his mouth to reply and she took one hand and covered his mouth with it. She smiled that impish Jane smile, and shook her head. "I am still going to kiss you."

He couldn't wait any longer for her to do so and so he pushed forward and claimed her lips, taking the kiss slow and steady, wanting to show her how to kiss him. She wasn't terrible at it, and quite frankly, Loki didn't care how she kissed just as long as she kissed him. She was unpracticed and she lacked the confidence in her kiss.

Kissing Jane was like kissing sunshine. He could smell the lavender in her hair and on her skin, and when he stroked one hand through her hair he marveled at how soft it was.

Their kisses were steadily growing in passion and Loki, needing more of her, pushed her back onto the bed. He skimmed his hand down over one breast and she jumped and pushed at him, her eyes wide.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he said quickly and moved his hand to the bed.

She looked at him helplessly. "Loki…what are we doing?"

"We're expressing what's been in our hearts all this time," he told her and moved so that he was lying beside her on top of the covers. She moved to face him and they lay together, facing one another. Jane pulled the covers up practically to her neck as though she feared him touching her again. She clutched them tightly in her fist and frowned. "How can this be?" she murmured. "What is wrong with us?"

"Nothing, sweeting. Nothing is wrong with us." He put his hand on the side of her face and made her look at him "We are not blood related, Jane. We were raised together, yes, but we are not really brother and sister."

"It doesn't matter."

"Yes, it does," Loki insisted.

"Loki…Society sees us as siblings. Mother and Thor do as well."

"They can all hang," Loki muttered.

"Loki, I love you. God help me, but I do. But I can't help but feel…dirty."

He reared his head back. "Dirty?"

"You've always been my brother. I've been raised to think of you thus. I've been tortured by these feelings. And tonight…with Steve…"

"Thor told me Lord Steve asked you to marry him but that you did not answer."

"I didn't," she whispered. "But I thought perhaps I should agree."

"Why?" Loki demanded, unable to keep the hurt out of his expression and his voice.

"Because of how I feel about you," she admitted softly.

"Do you think marrying Lord Steve will make your feelings for me go away? Are you as changeable as that?"

"Not at all," she said defiantly. "I just thought it might be healthier for what can we do, Loki? Be together? That's a dream. An unrealistic dream. It would cause a scandal for the entire family—"

"I don't care."

"You sound like a child."

Loki moved closer to her, closing the distance between them until he could feel the length of her against him – even if her bloody covers were in the way. "Do you think we can go back now, Jane? After what we've admitted here tonight? Do you think that's possible?"

"I don't know," she whispered. "I do not know anything anymore."

"All you need to know is that I love you. And you love me. And together we will figure this out."

"I don't think we can, Loki. Not this one. This isn't like when we were kids and we got into mischief together and had to explain to Mother how Thor ended up in the pond and we did not. They will think us…mad."

"Then we'll go away. Far away from here. You said you wanted to go to America. So we'll go and start a new a life there."

"Loki, please stop," she pleaded and placed one hand over his mouth. "My head is spinning."

Loki kissed the palm of her hand and then took her hand in his and kissed each finger one by one. Jane watched him as though mesmerized.

"You love me," he said.

"Yes."

"Therefore you cannot marry Lord Steve."

She said nothing which infuriated him. In fact, she pursed her lips together and Loki dropped her hand and pulled her into his arms. He pushed her into the bed and kissed her deeply. "You cannot marry Lord Steve. And you will not," he said when he'd left her well and truly breathless.

"I need to think," she said resolutely.

"I'd prefer you did not," he said, his voice taking on a husky timbre. Jane pushed him off her and sat up, glaring over at him.

"I think it's time you returned to your bed," she said determinedly.

"You are mine, Jane. You always have been and you always will be," Loki told her gravely. "If you marry Lord Steve, you will never be happy. And I will never leave you be."

She arched a brow at him and said, louder this time, "Good night, Loki."

He grinned at her stubbornness that so closely matched his own and climbed out of the bed. He looked down at her and bowed. "Good night, my dear sweet Jane," he said and left.

Jane waited to hear the door snick shut before she flopped back down onto the bed and stared wide-eyed at the ceiling, replaying the last half hour in her mind to assure herself that it had in fact really happened.

Sleep was a long time in coming.

xxxxxxxxx

The following morning after a lie in, and a bath, Jane dressed and went downstairs to see if there was still food from breakfast left to be had. She found only Thor in the dining room sipping on coffee.

"Am I too early or too late?" she asked as she sat down beside him.

He smiled at her. "Too late. I had Cook hold a plate for you downstairs. Let me ring for it."

She smiled. "Thank you, Thor."

"How do you feel?" he asked and went to the bell pull on the wall.

"Better, thank you," she said. Though in all honesty, she was nervous about seeing Loki after the night before. Had it really happened? She'd spent a long time convincing herself that it had, but now, in the stark light of day…

"My Lord," the butler said as he entered the room. "Lord Steve Rogers is here to see you."

Jane started, and felt her appetite leave her.

"Send him to the study," Thor said and stood, already looking stern. "Stay here, Jane."

She swallowed hard and nodded.

"Do you know your answer today, Jane?" he asked. She shook her head and Thor nodded. "It will be all right, dearest," he promised and left the room.

Curious, Jane got up and went to the door, peering out. She wanted to see how Lord Steve looked. Was he hopeful? Nervous? Determined?

Her heart fell and tripped over itself when she saw Loki glaring after him and Thor. He made to follow them and Jane bolted out of the room and grabbed hold of his hand. He turned to look at her, his expression one of surprise.

"Jane, what the devil are you doing?"

"You're not going in there with Thor and Steve," she told him.

"I told you—"

Jane put her hand over his mouth. She was doing a lot of that lately. "Hush up," she hissed. "Thor will handle it."

"And what is your answer this morning?" Loki whispered as Jane pulled him into the dining room and shut the door. She sagged against it.

"I don't have one," Jane said honestly.

"You will have to do better than that," Loki growled and placed his hands on either side of her head. He leaned in and Jane ducked under his arms and bolted away.

He grabbed her about the waist, snagged her to him, and whispered, "Have you forgotten what I promised you last night, Jane? That I would never let you be?"

She shuddered in his arms and found herself tilting her head to the side to give him access to her neck. "No," she whispered.

"Do not disappoint me," he said and spun her around in his arms. He leaned in to kiss her just as a knock came loudly on the door.

Jane weaved away from Loki and rushed to the door. She opened it and found a maid with her breakfast tray. "Thank you, Mary!" Jane exclaimed and took the tray. "Pray keep the door open," she said and shot Loki a 'behave' look as she made her way to the table.

Loki sighed and waited until Jane sat and he sat across from her, watching her intently as she made a point to ignore him and dig into her meal. Moments later, too soon if you asked Jane, Thor came in the room. "Jane, Lord Steve would like to speak to you."

Jane swallowed the toast in her mouth and sipped her chocolate. She dared not look at Loki as she stood and made her way to the study to give Lord Steve her answer.

An answer she still did not have.


	14. Chapter 14

**Thank you so much everyone! :) **

**Chapter Fourteen**

When Jane entered the study she felt as though her heart was going to leap out of her chest. She feared Steve asking her to marry him again because she feared having to come up with an answer. The part of her that loved Loki so very much couldn't bring herself to say yes. How could she marry a man she didn't love and not feel as though she was betraying the one she did? Which then brought her to her next problem: Loki was her brother. How could she not marry a man she could have a comfortable life with in order to live in secret and sin with Loki?

Although, would her life be really all that comfortable? Loki had promised her that he'd never leave her be and she believed him. He wouldn't. And, if she was being honest, how long would it really take for her to give in to him? Not long. Not long at all.

She felt at war with herself between doing what was right and giving in to what she knew had to be wrong. Granted, even doing what was right was fraught with perils as well.

No. She would tell Steve no then.

Jane opened her mouth to stop him from speaking, to stop him from asking and Steve held up a hand. "I'm not going to ask you to marry me," he said.

Relief flooded through her and she pressed her hand to her heart. She felt oddly winded. "You're not?"

"No." He gestured to the settee beside her. "Will you have a seat please, Jane?"

Jane sat and looked up at Steve expectantly.

xxxxxxx

"Did that peacock come here to ask you for Jane's hand in marriage?" Loki asked Thor, barely able to keep the sneer out of his voice.

Thor bent the newspaper he was holding in half and looked at Loki. "I'd hardly call him a peacock."

"Did he ask you or not?" Loki demanded in exasperation.

"Loki, calm down. I understand that you are protective of Jane, but it is getting a little ridiculous. You act more like—" Thor shook his head and picked the newspaper back up. "Just calm down."

"Just tell me what was said, please," Loki said, trying his best to sound calm.

Thor looked at him again over the newspaper and arched a brow. "I don't think you've ever said 'please' to anything before."

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"I realized my error in asking for your hand in marriage, Jane," Steve said as he stood before her. "We are friends, yes, but our time spent together at the balls we attended were spent at first with you trying to garner Lord Erik's attention, and me trying to garner Lady Margaret's. We shared a few kisses, but on the pretense of practicing rather than admitting or perhaps for you, even being curious about any real interest."

"I'm following you," Jane said slowly, her hands folded in her lap before her. "What exactly is it that you are saying?"

"I came here today to ask your brother –and you, of course – if I could have permission to court you."

Jane blinked. "Court me?"

Steve nodded. "Court you."

xxxxxxxxx

"Well?" Loki persisted.

Thor sighed and rolled his eyes. "He asked permission to court Jane, that is all."

Loki stared at his brother. "Court Jane?"

"Yes, court Jane."

"What did you tell him?"

"That it was up to her."

xxxxxxx

"So this is all up to me then that's what Thor said?" Jane asked.

"Yes. So? What do you say?"

xxxxxxx

Loki did his best to act normal. To not pace while he waited to hear what Jane's answer would be to allowing Steve to court her. It was better than marriage, yes, but it would still be a problem if she agreed. Especially if she agreed out of some misguided notion that doing so would in time cast Loki from her heart and her mind.

He heard voices in the foyer and got up to see if it was Jane and Steve. It was. He stood in the doorway, impatiently waiting. Jane was smiling and so was Lord Steve. This couldn't be good news for Loki.

Once Lord Steve had departed and Jane turned and saw Loki, her smile fell. "Well?" Loki demanded.

"Loki, leave Jane be!" Thor called out from the dining room.

Jane stepped before Loki and looked at him expectantly. He arched a brow at her and she rolled her eyes and pushed him to the side so she could pass through.

Loki gritted his teeth and followed her inside. She sat down at the table near Thor and said simply, "I've agreed to let him court me."

Loki marched out of the room and slammed the door behind him. Jane sighed and shut her eyes. She jumped when she felt Thor touch her folded hands on the table.

"Jane, it's all right. Loki…I wish I understood him," Thor said on a sigh. "For what it's worth I think you made the right decision, and I am duly impressed with Lord Steve coming to ask me if he could court you."

Jane smiled, though it was forced. Loki was upset with her and no doubt hurt by her actions so she could not smile and mean it. "I will speak with Loki," she said and stood.

"Perhaps you should let him cool off first."

Jane sighed. "Is Loki ever really 'cooled off'?"

Thor chuckled. "I suppose you're right about that."

Jane left the dining room and asked their butler if he happened to know where Loki had gone off to. She was told he'd gone outside to the gardens. Jane wondered if he'd known that she'd go looking for him and had sought a spot unseen from the house. The tall hedges in the garden would work well to keep them from sight and sound.

Biting her lip, Jane made her way down the stone steps and found she crept rather than walked with purpose. This was Loki. He could be anywhere and he liked to surprise her.

As she passed by the first hedge and then the second, she found she kept holding her breath as she passed by as though bracing herself. It was by the fifth hedge that he made himself known. He grabbed her wrist and yanked her inside out of sight.

"How could you?" he demanded, his voice soft and yet full of anger and hurt.

"I'm trying to do what is right, Loki," she told him, pulling her wrist free of his grasp.

"Right? It's 'right' to allow another man to court you when you don't love him? It's 'right' to put me off – the one you said you did love last night."

"Right is not having feelings for the man who has been my brother—"

"You're not my sister!" he shouted.

"So then what? Frigga is not my mother? Thor is not my brother?" The idea that Loki wanted her to denounce what had been her salvation saddened her. How could she do that?

He drew a shuddering breath. "They are not," he said softly.

"It doesn't work that way, and you know it. I may not be bound to you by blood, but we have all been family in every way that mattered. That is why this is so hard and feels so wrong. It's why I agreed to Lord Steve's offer of courtship. Whatever is between us could be something passing, something not real—"

Loki cut her off by drawing her close and framing her face in his large hands. She could smell sandalwood on him. Bergamot on Thor and sandalwood on Loki. He studied her closely, running his eyes over her face as though trying to memorize it. Jane was finding it hard to breathe under his intense scrutiny. Her gaze dropped to his lips and she licked her own.

Loki groaned and claimed her mouth, kissing her ardently until she was breathless and clinging to him. "Did that feel like something not real? Something passing?" he whispered.

She shook her head and he kissed her again and again.

"You are mine," he whispered savagely against her mouth. "Mine, Jane."

He released her abruptly and strode off, leaving Jane yearning for something she could not name. She wiped at the tears that fell then and sat down on a nearby bench, having herself a good long cry.


	15. Chapter 15

Over the next few days Loki gave Jane a wide berth. It was maddening and yet at the same time Jane wondered if it was for the best. Especially when Steve showed up to take her for a ride in Hyde Park in his carriage.

Jane spent the ride feeling guilty. Guilty about Loki, guilty about Steve, and guilty about Darcy. She liked Steve well enough and though she knew he would make a good husband, she felt guilty because her heart belonged to another and she didn't think that anything would shake Loki from his place in her heart. She wished something could to make this whole mess that much easier.

Jane wished everything could go back to normal. She wanted to feel for Loki what she felt for Thor: sisterly affection. She wanted Loki to feel about her the way Thor did: brotherly affection. Then there would have to be no worry about creating such a horrendous scandal, Frigga would not have to be told…

Goodness. What would their mother say if she knew about Loki and Jane? She would be horrified with them. Maybe even more with Jane since in Society everything was always the woman's fault and besides, Jane was not her real blood as Loki was fond of pointing out. Loki and Thor were her sons, her real children. If she found out that Loki and Jane were in love would she be so horrified with Jane that she would cast Jane out of the family?

Everyone knew what happened to fallen women. They fell even more. And harder.

Then what sort of taint would follow the family? Would Thor ever be able to marry with that shame on their name? Would Frigga be cast out of Society?

How could Loki not be thinking about these things?

She was reminded of why Loki had been forced to go away to Eton and why their father had never seen eye to eye. Jane had always seen it differently then, had always seen Odin as unbending and hard on Loki. She had always sympathized with Loki, but now, being on the receiving end of his stubbornness she felt a little sorry for her father. Loki could be just as unbending. And very, very difficult.

"You're quiet this afternoon," Steve observed as he looked over at her from where he sat beside her on the carriage.

Jane pulled herself from her maudlin thoughts and forced herself to smile. "Am I? I apologize. I'm just admiring the day."

"It is rather beautiful," Steve said and then grinned. "Though not as beautiful as you."

She couldn't do this. Every time Steve complimented her or smiled at her in a certain way all she could think was _Loki, Loki, Loki_. What had made her think she could force herself to fall in love with someone else?

"And here we are," Steve said as they slowed down to enter Hyde Park. As per usual, everyone looked to see who had just arrived and with whom. Most outings in London were about seeing and being seen and Jane's mind reeled with how fast it would spread that Steve was courting her.

"Are you all right, Jane? You look a bit pale?" Steve asked her.

"I—I'm fine. I could perhaps use a refreshment."

"Say no more, my lady," he said with a grin and turned the carriage to Gunter's.

Fifteen minutes later, Jane felt a bit calmer, but still ready to go home. She had to find a way to tell Steve that this was not going to work. She didn't know what she would do about Loki, but she couldn't do this to Steve. He deserved to find someone that wasn't using him to get over someone else.

"Well, hello, sister dear."

Jane looked up and found Loki in a carriage coming toward them with a big smile on his face that was not real and felt a tad…murderous.

And Darcy was sitting right beside him with the biggest and happiest smile on her face.

"H—hello, Loki. Darcy," Jane managed to say.

"Well, hello, Lord Loki and Lady Darcy. Nice day for a ride is it not?" Steve said cordially.

"It is!" Loki agreed a little too enthusiastically. "And for an ice apparently, too. Lady Darcy, would you like one?"

"Yes, please, Lord Loki," Darcy said in saccharine tone that gave Jane a toothache.

"Please, call me Loki, my dear," Loki said. He was laying on the charm quite thick in Jane's opinion.

"Then please call me Darcy, Loki," Darcy said and batted her eyelashes at him in a manner that made Jane roll her eyes.

"Will do, darling," Loki said with a wink.

Seeing what Loki was doing, knowing how Darcy felt about him and how he had no idea how he really felt…well, it wasn't that different from what she was doing was it?

Darcy was going to be hurt. And she would turn on Jane. Jane would lose her best friend. And though she did not love him, she did consider Steve a friend. And she would lose him, too.

Who would not be harmed if she and Loki came forward with their love?

Jane put her ice down on the seat beside her and swiped a hand across her forehead. She wanted to take her bonnet off. She felt hot and her head was beginning to pound.

"Jane?" Steve asked softly and leaned in close to her. "Are you all right?"

Jane nodded and smiled shakily. "Yes, I think I am just a tad warm."

"Let me take you home then," Steve said and put his ice down on the floor. He grabbed Jane's and put it down next to his.

"Leaving so soon?" Loki asked, his eyes that missed nothing flickering between Jane and Steve.

"Your sister feels unwell," Steve explained.

"Does she?" Loki said, and it almost sounded like a challenge.

Jane shot Loki a glare and then gripped the side of the carriage when Steve got the horses moving.

Steve said his good-byes and Jane decided that she preferred to say nothing at all.

xxxxxxxxxxx

After saying his goodbye's, Jane all but ran inside the house. She had placed her foot on the first step of the stairs to run up to her room when she heard Frigga calling to her.

She turned and looked at the woman that had claimed Jane as her own after Jane's parents had perished in a carriage accident. Frigga was her Mother. She was the one that tended to Jane's scrapes and comforted her when she saw things in the dark. Frigga was the one that taught her about her courses and all the things she needed to know as a woman.

"Sweetheart, did you have fun with Lord Steve?" Frigga asked.

Jane lunged at her mother, nearly toppling them both over. She hugged Frigga tight. "I love you, Mother."

"I love you, too, dearest!" Frigga said with a surprised laugh. "What brought this on?"

Jane shook her head. "Nothing, I just – I am just happy that you are my Mother."

Frigga smiled and kissed Jane in the middle of her forehead. "I am happy as well, my dear. Tell me, did you have fun with Lord Steve?"

Jane shrugged.

"Oh, that does not sound promising," Frigga said with a frown. "Did you happen to see your brother and Darcy? She came over almost as soon as you'd left to see you. Loki decided to take her for a ride to Hyde Park to see you."

"Yes, I saw them. But it was so hot outside and not even the ice was helping so Lord Steve took me home."

Frigga frowned. "You did not feel well at the ball and now, today. Are you ill, Jane? Should I send for a doctor?"

"No, no, I will be fine. It is just the heat I think. I'm going to lie down for a bit upstairs."

Frigga nodded. "I will have one of the maids bring up cold compresses for you."

Jane nodded and smiled. "Thank you, Mother."

Jane ran up the stairs and down to her bedchamber. She kicked off her shoes and ripped off her bonnet and threw herself onto her bed, face down. She hugged her pillow under head and turned to look out the window. She shut her eyes and breathed deep in an effort to relax.

She had to put an end to Steve courting her and she didn't know how. She had to warn Loki about Darcy before Darcy got hurt. She buried her face in her pillow and squeezed her eyes tight.

She jumped when she felt something cold against her neck. She flipped onto her bum and found Loki standing beside her bed. He looked apologetic.

Jane flew off the bed and hit him once on the arm. Then on the chest and the arm and then again and again until Loki grabbed her wrists to stop her.

"You're a bloody arse, Loki Odinson!" she hissed at him and yanked herself free.

"Me?" he demanded angrily. "You're the one that's agreed to let that wanker court you—"

"I'm putting an end to it," she seethed, her chest rising and falling rapidly. She pointed at him. "You must put an end to your flirtations with Darcy if you do not wish to court her."

"Jealous?" he asked and leaned in close, eyes narrowed.

"No," she spat. "But Darcy is in love with you and I won't see her hurt."

"Perhaps you should have thought about that before," he snapped. "And 'if' Jane? 'If' I do not wish to court her? You know very well I have no intention of courting any woman—"

She pushed him away from her. "Do you wish me to be without a family? Do you wish me to be cast out like an orphan?"

He looked at her as though he couldn't understand what she was saying. "No, I—"

"Then stop trying to get me to deny my family. This family. Our family. Frigga is my mother and Thor is my brother. Odin was my father and you…you are my brother, too."

Loki moved closer to her and she stepped away from him. He stopped and dug into his jacket and extracted a handkerchief. He handed it to her and Jane wiped at the tears that fell from her eyes.

"I'm sorry I made you feel as though you had to denounce the family, Jane," he said gently. "You are part of this family, yes—"

"As such do you not realize the consequences of our actions? What would happen if we…if we came forward?"

"I do not believe denying our feelings is the answer either. Look at what happens when we do. We hurt other people."

"I want to do the right thing. That's all I've wanted to do."

He moved slowly toward her and reached out to gently run his fingers down her bare arm. "We've come too far to turn back now. Surely you see that. I cannot pretend that I don't love you, Jane. Please do not ask me to." His voice shook on his plea and Jane curled her hands into fists to keep from reaching out and taking him in her arms.

"You make my head spin," she whispered and looked down at the floor.

He reached out and touched her hand, uncurled her fist with his finger and then wrapped his hand around hers and pulled her into his arms. He pressed his forehead against hers. "Stop thinking so damn much," he told her.

"How can I when you're not?"

His laugh was a deep rumble and he kissed the tip of her nose. Then her cheek. Her jaw. And then, finally, her lips.

_Every single time_, Jane thought despairingly. _How does he manage to make me so weak?_

"No more tears," he murmured and wiped the remaining few away with the pads of his thumbs. "We will figure it all out, darling—Jane, stop, don't push away from me."

She pushed against his chest of which he now held her against. His arms were like bands of steel around her. "Don't call me 'darling'. You called Darcy that."

He laughed softly and she glared at him. He kissed her and she bit him. He reared back and let her go and she arched a brow challengingly at him.

He placed his finger against his mouth and his nostrils flared with irritation as he looked at her. "You're a brat."

"So you've said."

"I will no longer call Darcy darling, Jane. She is not my darling. You are. You always have been. Did Steve kiss you?"

"No."

"Good. Then I won't have to kill him."

"Oh for goodness sake, Loki," she said in exasperation.

He pulled her to him again. "May I kiss you properly now, my Jane?"

She looked up at him helplessly. "I know I should say no, but I find I can't."

With a victorious smile, Loki leaned in and kissed her soundly. His tongue touched hers and Jane stiffened. That was new. She followed his lead, however, and found she quite liked kissing him this way.

"I want to lay you out on this bed and ravish you until you scream for me," he panted against her lips. "I want to feel every inch of you under my hands…"

"Loki," she said and looked away from him, her cheeks reddening.

He chuckled low and deep. "Tonight after dinner, we'll go outside and lay out under the stars," he whispered.

"But—"

"No buts. We will. I will show you the stars, Jane." He pulled back and winked. "And maybe take you to them."

* * *

**Hopefully I didn't make Jane give in too easy to Loki at the end here. I want to establish that Jane has a really difficult time resisting Loki because, hi, it's Loki, and she loves him.**

**Thank you to everyone reading and reviewing this fic! :)**


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter Sixteen**

Jane found she couldn't look at Loki during dinner that night. They sat across from each other as they always did and Jane could feel the weight of his penetrating stare. When she did look up once and he grinned that mischievous Loki smile, she felt her heart speed up.

How was it possible that of all things Jane could feel regarding Loki, she actually found herself _nervous_? It defied all reason. This was the same man who as a boy put a snake in her bed and told her such terrifying stories before bedtime that she would inevitably wake up in the middle of the night from a nightmare. If she dared to wake the household because of her nightmares then she had been directed by Loki to blame Thor. No one ever believed that Thor had told her such scary stories before bed.

This was also the man whose throat she had more than once wanted to put her hands around.

But he was also her confidante. Her hero. Her best friend. He was, quite simply, the man she loved. Or perhaps it wasn't as simple as that. But, for now it seemed they were putting a pin in all of that and focusing instead on them and how they felt about one another.

That was probably why Jane felt so nervous. It had been the way she'd felt with Lord Erik as well. No matter how many times she told herself that this was _Loki_, she still felt a fluttering in her belly when she thought of spending time alone with him.

"Jane and I are going to partake of the beautiful night and have an astronomy lesson outside," Loki announced.

Jane stopped with the fork halfway to her mouth and then shoveled it in. Yes, it was probably a good idea to tell Thor and Frigga where they would be and what they would be doing. No suspicion there. Especially if one of them happened to take a stroll.

"That sounds like great fun!" Thor said enthusiastically. "May I join?"

And then there was that.

Loki opened his mouth to answer his brother, but Jane cut him off. "Of course," she said.

Loki looked at her, but Jane ignored him. Thor grinned happily and dinner continued on. Jane knew better than Loki that Thor would grow bored sooner rather than later. Thor was not the sort to sit still for long. He would have to get up and do something.

"I think I will leave you three to it," Frigga said. "I just got myself a new book and plan to settle in and start it."

"That sounds lovely, Mother," Jane said. "Anything I would be interested in after you are finished with it?"

That shifted the conversation to books and that continued until the end of the meal.

xxxxxxxxx

"Loki, would you like some help picking out a blanket to use outside?" Jane asked after dinner was finished.

He looked a bit surprised but nodded adamantly. "Yes, please."

She smiled at him and headed for the stairs with Loki in tow. She could practically feel him breathing down her neck and with a giggle she began to run up the stairs. Loki laughed and gave chase and soon the pair was running down the hall to Loki's bedchamber.

Once they burst inside, Loki pulled Jane into his arms, but Jane pushed out of them and laughed as she nodded to the servants who were in his bedchamber turning down his bed for him. Loki cleared his throat and nodded to them as they hurried out and closed the door behind them.

Jane looked at Loki warningly. "We must be careful, Loki."

"They saw nothing," he said as he began stalking her, reminding her of a cat on the prowl.

"They could have and we have to be mindful of that," she said as she began walking backwards. That nervous feeling was coming back again. When her back hit the wall Loki's smile was wide. He leaned in, placing his hands on either side of her head.

Jane lifted her head to receive his kiss and her heart raced. He barely brushed her lips though with his and Jane found herself leaning in to capture them, her eyes closed. She missed. He chuckled. She opened her eyes and glared at him. "Fine then. No kiss," she said and ducked under his arm. He caught her about the waist and turned her around. He kissed her passionately and Jane responded in kind, letting her feelings for him be her guide in kissing him properly.

When they parted, Jane noted that Loki was panting just as much as she. He had a dazed look in his eyes as he looked down at her. "That was quite a kiss, Jane," he told her.

She smiled. "I just put my feelings for you into it."

His expression softened to one of reverence and he laid one hand on the side of her face and drew it near. "Oh, my Jane. I wish for you to kiss me like that all the time. It was amazing."

Her smile grew and she leaned up and kissed him again, a brief kiss this time, and then wrapped her arms around him and pressed the side of her face against his chest. His arms came around her and it felt to Jane as though he held her as though he handled precious cargo. He made her feel so cherished.

"Why did you tell Thor he could join us tonight?" Loki asked.

She laughed softly. "Because I know Thor will grow bored within minutes. If we told him no he would think it odd."

"No, not really. I tell him no to things all the time."

"Just the same, I felt better about acquiescing."

Loki sighed and kissed the top of her head. "I hope you are right about his leaving quickly, Jane. I promised a trip to the stars."

She pulled back and looked up at him curiously. "How do you plan to take me on a trip to the stars exactly?"

He grinned and she shivered. "You'll see," he said.

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Thor sat between Loki and Jane on the blanket Loki had chosen from the linen closet in the servant's quarters and he cut Jane off in the middle of reciting the stars as she pointed up at the sky at them.

He put his arms around Loki and Jane and said, "I am so glad to see you two getting along again. The house is not the same when you two are at each other's throats. When we were kids I always knew that wherever Jane was you, Loki, were not far behind, and the same for you with Loki, Jane. I love you both, and I fear I don't always say it." And then he kissed Jane on the head and just as he was about to do the same to Loki, Loki managed to escape.

Thor laughed, finding this amusing, and climbed to his feet. "I will leave you two to the stars. Don't catch a chill." And with that, he strode off to the house.

Jane smiled slyly at Loki. "Told you. Not even a half an hour I bet."

Loki took out his pocket watch and used the light of the moon to check the time. "Ten."

Jane laughed and flipped backwards on the blanket, staring up at the stars. Loki lay back beside her, their heads very close to each other and he grasped her hand between them and entwined their fingers.

She lifted her free hand resumed her recitation and pointing out the different constellations. "And that's all I remember," she said several minutes later. "Those are all the ones you taught me when you came home from Eton," she said and turned to look at him. "Do you remember?"

He turned his head to look at her and nodded. "I remember. Not so much the stars, mind you—"

"You don't?!"

He laughed. "No. But I just got a refresher and for that I thank you."

She swatted him playfully on the chest and he laughed again and moved so that he was on his side facing her. One hand brushed some hair from her temple and then slowly ran down her face, neck, shoulder, and side. He stopped at her hip and gripped her there.

She leaned in and they kissed slowly as though memorizing each other's mouths. "I like your mouth," Jane blurted out when they parted for air.

Loki chuckled. "I like yours, too."

"I never used my tongue before with, uh…" she stopped talking as Loki's expression had darkened. She kissed him quickly to make him forget what she'd been about to say.

He pushed her onto back and climbed over her, bracing himself on his arms above her. "No one else will kiss you from now on, Jane. Only me."

She didn't know how to answer that for she didn't quite know what he meant to happen to ensure that. She didn't want to think about that for thinking about the fact that at some point they may have to end what was between them filled her with a sadness that felt debilitating.

He ran the fingers of one hand over the side of her face and then over her lips and down her neck. "I promised you the stars," he murmured. "Though I've no doubt I will be transported as well."

He then started to move down her body and Jane lifted her head and looked down in confusion. She then got up on her elbows. "Loki, what are you about?"

At her feet, which were bare, he knelt and began to life her skirts. Her eyes widened and she kicked out to stop him. "What are you doing?" she demanded.

He shook his head and stopped her from moving about by placing his hand on her leg. "Darling, I want you trust me. I want to taste you, sweetheart."

She stared at him. "Taste me?"

He smiled and nodded. "Taste you. He placed his hand over her center. "Here."

Her eyes went wide. "No, absolutely not! It's indecent! I am not Lady Sigyn, Loki, you cannot treat me like some common whore who—"

He moved closer to her and placed his hand over her mouth. "Knowing how much I love and adore you, do you honestly think I would treat you like a common whore?"

She considered that as she moved his hand away. "Well, no, but—"

"Trust me."

"You want me to trust you with an awful lot lately. I'm certain at some point soon I will have to draw a line," she said dryly and he chuckled.

"Jane, I want to kiss you there…I want to taste your sweet quim. It's what men do to the women they love and cherish – and I love and cherish you."

She arched a brow. "Loki Odinson, how would you know what men do to the women they love and cherish when until now you've claimed to love no other woman?"

He said nothing, just looked at her. Finally, he sighed and raked a hand through his unruly black locks. "Of all the women in the world, I had to fall in love with not only a smart woman but the one that knows all my tricks and can see right through me."

She shrugged and nodded.

"I have not been in love before you, Jane-"

"But you have done this act for your…paramours."

He sighed and nodded, looking somewhat chagrined. "Yes."

"Did you tell them you loved them when you did that?"

"No. And they knew I did not."

"You never lied to a woman to have your way?"

He said nothing and she rolled her eyes. "You're a scoundrel, Loki Odinson."

"It naught but matters now, Jane," he told her earnestly. "It's you I love, you I want, you whom I want to give pleasure to. Who came before, what I said to them or did not say – it doesn't matter. All that matters is us. You and me. You are my first love, Jane, and my last. Will you let me love you?"

How could she say no after that? Even if she did think it odd and maybe a little…distasteful. Yet the way his eyes shone with love so brightly for her, she couldn't say no to him. She was probably just as terrible as all the other women that he'd taken to his bed and if she loved him less she might have been able to refuse him more.

"What do I do?" she asked finally.

He smiled and kissed her hard. "You, my darling, just lie back," he said huskily and pushed her back onto the blanket. He kissed her slowly as he pulled up her skirts to her waist. And then he drew back and divested her of her pantaloons. He caressed one leg and then the other with his hand and Jane shivered. She got up on her elbows and looked down at him.

"Lay back, darling," he directed and she did as he asked. She swallowed hard and focused on the moon and the stars. She bit her lip as he arranged her legs, having her bend her knees first, and then spread her legs wide and back a bit. She felt exposed and not in a pleasing way.

She jumped when she felt his mouth on her right knee. Then her left. Then his tongue on one thigh, and then the next. Her breath hitched. His hand caressed her bare bottom and she jumped at the feel of his hand there.

"Relax, my love," he said gently and bit her calf softly.

And then she felt his fingers on _that place_ – her quim – she forgot how to breathe.

"Perfect," she heard him whisper ardently. "So bloody perfect and beautiful and wet. God, Jane, you are so wet for me."

She didn't know quite what that meant. She was about to ask to divert her attention away from what was happening when she felt his mouth on her. She cried out and then stuffed her fist into her mouth.

She expected him to stop.

He did not.

His tongue laved her, teased her and made her squirm.

In a thoroughly _delightful_ way.

Jane clutched at the blanket under her and balled them in her fists as Loki loved her with his mouth. His tongue – oh God, his tongue…and then she felt his thumb teasing her, this one sweet spot…

"Loki," she whimpered. This beautiful and yet frightening tension was building within her and she felt so wound tight and nearing some kind of release she didn't understand.

"Let go, my love," he urged and bit down on her inner thigh as his thumb rubbed that spot. "Let go. You're safe with me, Jane."

He put his mouth back on her and she couldn't hold back anymore. She cried out, felt an utter euphoria wash over her and she closed her eyes tightly as she soared.

"Jane, Jane, Jane…"

Loki was kissing her then and she could taste…herself. She reared back and looked at him wide-eyed. He licked his lips and hummed with eyes closed. "Delicious."

Curious, Jane tentatively kissed him. He engulfed her mouth with his and Jane clung to him, fisting his jacket in her hands. He moaned, she moaned a rejoinder and then he parted the kiss and pressed his forehead to hers. "Good?" he asked.

"I think I may have in fact seen stars," she admitted hoarsely.

He smiled broadly, a little smugly. "Good."

She stared at up at him in wonder. "Is there an equivalent to…that…for a man?"

He groaned and dropped his head down. "Yes, dearest, there is. But it's too soon for that. Tonight was about you."

Jane felt sated in a way she hadn't ever felt before. She moved her legs down and curled into Loki. "I love you," she whispered.

"Say it again," he murmured.

"I love you."

"Again."

"I love you…"

* * *

I hope that, uh, _whet_ your appetite for more... ;)


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter Seventeen**

Jane awoke slowly the next morning, memories of she and Loki out under the stars coming back to her in pieces. Her eyes snapped open when she remembered all of it, and she burrowed further under her blankets as she felt her cheeks redden. She smiled, thinking of how loving and passionate Loki had been, and how he had made her feel. Oh, what a wondrous thing love was! If only—

Her smile fell.

If only indeed.

There felt like a hundreds 'if only's' when it came to her and Loki. If only they could be together. If only they weren't brother and sister. If only they could be together as anyone else could. If only, if only, if only.

Loki didn't want her thinking about the consequences of their actions, but how could she not? He didn't seem to very much. The Loki that always set the best pranks on Thor by plotting so intricately was now just ploughing ahead with little to no thought at all.

When it came to anything with an emotional attachment he seemed to do that often. It was how he handled anything that was wrought with emotion. It had gotten him into trouble more times than not with their father.

She wanted to not worry about everything, but how could she not? If they were caught there was no telling what would happen but it would be bad. Very, very bad. She just wished she could talk to someone about it.

And that brought her to Darcy. Darcy, who was in love with Loki. And then Steve, who was supposed to be courting Jane. It was a tangle. A mess. Jane sat up in bed and pushed her hair from her face. She would have to tell Steve that she could not allow him to court her any longer. Jane bit her lip. That meant having to come up with a good excuse to Frigga. Thor would take it in stride, but Frigga liked Steve and his family so that might be a little bit harder to navigate. Then there was Darcy. How did she break it to Darcy that Loki did not return her feelings? Well….maybe she didn't have to do anything at all. Maybe that would be Loki's job. It would only be fair that he had to deal with some of this. It couldn't all rest on her shoulders, that wouldn't be very fair.

Jane reached over to pull the bell pull for help getting dressed and climbed out of the bed. She grabbed her wrapper and slipped her arms through and made her way to her balcony doors. She opened them, letting the sun and the air in and stepped outside. She placed her hands on the railing and looked down at the grounds.

Loki was standing there smiling up at her and Jane felt a blush come on.

"Will you be getting dressed today?" he called up to her, a teasing glint in his eye.

"Yes!"

He grinned. "I will see you soon then."

She nodded and hurried back inside. She shut the doors and leaned against them, her heart hammering hard in her chest. She laughed at her foolishness, but at the same time this giddy feeling was one she did not want to end. And, as long as she put Steve, Darcy, and everything else but Loki out of her mind, she could.

xxxxxxxxx

Jane plucked a yellow rose from the arrangement of flowers on the table in the foyer and sniffed it as she made her way into the dining room. Frigga and Thor were there, finishing up breakfast.

"Loki finished already?" Jane asked as she sat down. It was probably a good thing he was not at the breakfast table. She didn't think she'd be able to look at him without blushing.

"Yes, he ate very early today and then went to the docks. He just returned a little while ago," Thor said. He nodded to the yellow rose on the table. "Lord Steve brought those flowers by."

Jane paused in stabbing some sausage with her fork. "Oh?" And then she finished gathering her breakfast.

"How are things going with Lord Steve, Jane?" Frigga asked.

Jane shrugged a shoulder and busied herself with preparing her breakfast, trying not to seem too eager to end her courtship with Steve. She felt as though every word she said and every move she made would be scrutinized, leading to one conclusion: she and Loki were in love and doing scandalous things together. "Lord Steve is a kind man. He's a true gentleman," Jane said.

"But?" Thor prompted.

She sighed. "But I do not love him."

"Well, I would think not yet!" Frigga laughed. "Jane, my dear, you must give it some time. It's only been a few days."

"But I have known him all this Season and last, Mother," Jane said.

"You've known him, yes, but he wasn't courting you. This is different. You must cast of your romantic ideals off, Jane, and be a bit more practical about it. Sometimes it takes time for love to grow. It certainly doesn't happen overnight."

"What doesn't happen overnight?" Loki asked as he came in the dining room. He smiled at Jane and sat down beside her.

"Love," Frigga said.

"Ah, yes, well…it does take some time," Loki said and plucked the rose off the table where it sat between them. "It can build slowly over time and then take you by surprise when you realize what it is that you feel."

"Loki, please tell me you're not talking about—" Thor broke off and darted a look at Frigga who arched a brow. "Uh, well, never mind."

Frigga nodded knowingly and Jane wanted to kick Loki. He wasn't helping at all, and she suspected that if he knew what they were talking about he would change his tune.

"I was just speaking generally, brother," Loki said. "Tell me, who put the arrangement together in the foyer?" He lifted the yellow flower to show it off and then sniffed it.

"I imagine one of the many florists in town," Frigga said.

"Oh?"

"Lord Steve sent them for Jane," Thor explained.

Loki tossed the flower on the table. "They're a bit limp don't you think, Jane?"

Jane resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "I was just telling Mother that I wasn't in love with Lord Steve."

"Well, I should think not," Loki said. Frigga and Thor looked at him and Jane for the second time wished she could kick him. He sat back in his chair. "I just mean that he's a tad on the boring side for you, I think."

"Lord Steve is polite, not boring," Frigga said. "You could stand to learn a few things from him, Loki."

"If Jane does not wish to be courted by him any longer then I do not see why she should continue. Don't you think, Thor?"

Thor shrugged. "I actually agree with Mother. I think Jane should give it some time."

Loki pursed his lips together. "Why? Because he sent a bunch of flowers? Anyone could do that."

"It's fine, Loki," Jane said calmly. His temper was starting to flare and that was never a good sign. She would give them away if he kept it up and she didn't want that. Not now. Maybe not ever. _Oh God in heaven, this is hopeless_, she thought miserably.

"No, it's not," Loki retorted.

"Loki, we know how you worry about your sister, but trust me when I say that I would not let Jane be courted by anyone I wasn't sure was a true gentleman and a wonderful match for Jane," Frigga said. She stood. "Jane, if you're done I would like to help you pen a note to Lord Steve, thanking him for the flowers."

Jane nodded and stood. "I'm done, Mother." Unable to do much else, she followed her Mother out of the dining room.

Loki sat there, fuming.

"I can practically feel the anger rolling off of you," Thor drawled.

"I just don't like that Jane is being forced to do something she clearly doesn't want to do."

Thor sat back and regarded his younger brother with narrowed eyes. "Yes, and you know all about avoiding the things you don't want to do."

Loki glared at him. "Problem, brother?"

"Just making an observation. Tell me again about the places you've traveled?"

"I didn't have any responsibilities, Thor. They were all yours. I was just the dissolute spare that Father found to be a degenerate."

"You were more than just the spare, Loki, and you know it. You had responsibilities too. Responsibilities that were thrust onto me after you left."

"And who made me leave, Thor? Who made me leave for Eton?"

"Maybe if you didn't fight with him all the time—"

"And maybe if you didn't kiss his arse all the time!"

"Someone had to smooth things over!" Thor shouted.

"And of course it would have been his favorite," Loki sneered. "You had Father and you have Mother. I have Jane. I'll not see her forced into something she doesn't want."

"I daresay you'll see her a spinster before you see her with anyone at all. You're not children anymore, Loki. You're both adults and you can't covet her as yours and yours alone. I'll not see you cater to her whims and keep her from finding happiness. Is it your plan to live out the rest of your days together? Neither one of you finding love? Neither one of you wed or with children of your own?"

"What about you?" Loki snapped.

"Don't worry about me. I have my affairs well in hand."

"I should hope so because I wouldn't let you live with me and Jane."

Thor set down his cup of coffee and pushed his chair back. His jaw was clenched. He pointed at Loki. "Jane is not the young girl you left behind when you went traveling. She's of age to wed and start a family and Lord Steve is a good man—"

"A good man? He was stealing kisses from her this Season already, Thor. Did you know that?"

Thor's expression darkened further. "No, I did not know. I'll be sure to speak with him and Jane about it."

"But you'll not stop him from seeing her."

"No. And who are you to be casting stones, Loki? Rumor has it you were off with Lady Sigyn in the garden your first night back!"

"You know as well as I do that it's different for a man than a woman!"

Thor sighed and raked a hand through his hair. "I will speak to Lord Steve. And you will leave Jane alone about him and let her make her own choices. As I said, she's not a child anymore, Loki. I know that you two have a special bond, but if it interferes with her making a match and finding a man that will make her happy then I will intervene."

Loki narrowed his eyes. "And just how would you do that, brother dear? Cast me out of the house? Ban me from seeing Jane?"

"I'm not Father, Loki. Stop trying to turn me into him. Just leave Jane be. She wants to please you so much and keep you from leaving again she'll do anything to keep you happy, and at the risk of her own happiness. You two act more like…" Thor shook his head and waved a hand in the air as though he was brushing off the thought. His look was one of disgust and frustration.

Loki sat back, feeling chastened. Jane was right. They had to be more careful. He looked up at Thor and considered confiding in his brother. What if he did tell Thor he was in love with Jane and that he would not stop trying to keep her from other men? Maybe that _would_ get him cast out of the house. And if it did, would Jane leave with him?

_No_, he thought sadly. _She would not_.

And could he ask her to? Ask her to live in sin with him and denounce her family – the people who took her in as a child and treated her as one of their own?

No. He could not.

So then what was to be done for it? See Jane married off or hope to convince Thor and Frigga to let her remain unattached? Loki rubbed his forehead. He felt a headache coming on.

He started slightly when Thor laid a hand on his shoulder. "Everything will be all right, brother. You'll see. Jane will fall in love and be happier than we've ever seen her. You'll feel foolish for having worried so much and so needlessly."

Loki said nothing. He would never be happy seeing Jane with another man, and if Jane loved him as much as she said she did then she would not be happy either.

_Maybe she doesn't love you as much as she says she does,_ the evil voice in his head whispered. _How could she if you know she won't even leave with you to share a life with you? _

Thor left the room and Loki got up and made his way to the front door. He needed to get out. Out and away. Jane was coming down the stairs at the same time Loki was pulling on his gloves. "Where are you going?" she asked.

"Out," he said curtly.

"Where?"

"Stop hounding me," he growled and marched out of the house before he gave into the urge to go to her.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter Eighteen**

Jane was dreaming that Loki was touching her quim again. This time just with his fingers not his mouth. She moaned loudly and realized that no, it was not a dream. It was actually happening. She looked up to see Loki above her, smiling lecherously.

And then she caught the whiff of smoke and…perfume?

Jane shoved him off her and scrambled out of the bed. She grabbed her wrapper and hastily put it on. Loki stared at her with glazed eyes. "Jane?"

"Where the devil were you all day? Why did you snap at me? Why do you smell like smoke and _perfume_?"

Loki flopped onto his back on her bed and sighed. "I went out. A few clubs. A few gaming hells."

"Why?"

"What are you going to do now? Monitor my every move?" he asked. "I'm not allowed to do it to you so you are not allowed to do it to me."

"I'm not monitoring you, Loki, but you were obviously upset about something when you left here this afternoon and now you smell like a woman has rubbed herself all over you!"

"Keep your voice down," he hissed. "Do you want to wake the house?"

"What was wrong with you today?"

He climbed out of the bed and came over to her. She thought about backing away, but decided it was best to stand her ground. "Do you love me?" he asked, his voice a husky rumble.

"Yes, you know I do."

"Do I?"

"Is this about Steve because I tried—"

"Don't say his name in my presence," Loki growled.

"I tried to put an end to the courtship, Loki. Mother and Thor would not let me."

Loki cupped her face in his hands almost roughly. "If the only way you and I could be together was to go far away from here, would you come with me? Would you love me enough to run away with me?"

Jane gripped his hands, trying to pry them off her face. "Where is this coming from?"

"You know there isn't another way, Jane. So, would you? Would you run away with me?"

"If you loved _me_ enough, why would you make me choose? You're thinking of yourself, not of others by asking me such a thing."

"So you don't," he said and dropped his hands. "You don't love me enough."

"It's an unfair question."

"No, I just think it's telling that you won't answer. You don't love me. Not as I love you."

"Is there a competition I wasn't aware of?"

"And to think I pushed the tart off me when she rubbed herself against me like a bitch in heat. Had I known how you really felt I would have—"

Jane slapped him hard across the face, surprising not only him but herself as well. "Get out," she spat and pointed to the door. "I'm not having this discussion or any other discussion with you while you're in this drunken state."

Loki touched the side of his face with his hand. "Feel better?"

"Get. Out."

Loki glared at her. "With pleasure."

xxxxxxxxx

Loki woke the next morning feeling as though his mouth had been stuffed with cotton. His head hurt too, and the first thing he did was call for a bath and headache powder with a tall glass of water.

As he waited, his conversation with Jane played itself back in his mind and he winced. He'd been a brute with her. Cruel. And he felt guilty for it. His insecurities had reared their ugly head yesterday and the liquor had not helped. It had only heightened his frustration with the whole situation and it wasn't as if he had anyone he could talk to about it.

He hadn't been fair to Jane, not one whit. He knew it was unfair to ask her to choose between the only family she had and him, and yet he'd been unable to put the question to her. He'd already known he wouldn't like the answer, so why did he torture himself by asking it? _Because you want to be first to someone,_ the little voice in his head said. _And if there was a chance to be first to anyone, it would have been Jane. _

It hurt to think that she wouldn't go away with him if that is what this all came down to. On the other hand, knowing Jane she was probably thinking they'd be scuttling out of the country with their tails between their legs after having been caught out. She was thinking in worst possible scenarios. He was thinking more in terms of going away just to be together, not necessarily _running away_, though that was how he had put it to her. But it would have been nice to know that if that _were_ the case, she would have chosen to stay with him. And yet Loki knew that Jane was no doubt thinking they'd be disowned and cast off from the family altogether.

Yes, he wanted to be chosen first, but this was not a cut and dry situation. This wasn't some forbidden love with a servant, this was forbidden love with the man that had been raised to be her brother. Plus, this was all new to Jane, this love business.

Quite frankly, it was new to him too, but if he was honest with himself he had known for years now that he loved Jane. Not as a brother, but as a man. He just hadn't been able to separate the two quite well until now. When he traveled away from home his first thought in the morning and his last at night had always been about Jane. What was she doing? _How_ was she doing? Did she miss him as he missed her? It made sense now to him that of course he had always loved Jane more than he should. When she told him that she loved him it was as if the heavens had opened up and an angel had invited him into her embrace.

And now he'd gone and mucked it all up.

"Sod," he cursed himself. He would have to find her and apologize and get them back to rights again. He _needed_ Jane. And he wouldn't give her up. He didn't care if they had to sneak around, just as long as he didn't lose her. Good God, he was terrified of losing her. What would he do if she decided this was too much and married Steve just to put an end to it?

_She could try_, he thought darkly, _but I am not about to skulk away. Jane is mine, and I am hers and that is just the way it is. She would be miserable in a loveless marriage and she knows it. She couldn't live that way. Not even to save all of us from a fallout._

xxxxxxx

After getting dressed and wolfing something quick down for breakfast, Loki went in search of Jane and not surprisingly found her outside near the fountain. She had a book in her lap but was not looking down at it. Instead, she was looking straight ahead. Loki sat down beside her and she lowered her head and shifted to the side.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I was a scoundrel. A blackguard. A right sod. Just with this courtship and—"

"It's over, Loki."

"Pardon?"

"It's over. Us, I mean. It's over."

Loki turned towards her, but she remained still. She wouldn't even look at him. "Jane, are you listening to me? I'm trying to apologize for my behavior last night. I know I was a right bastard. I'm just going mad not being able to be open about how we feel and –"

Finally, she looked at him. She looked so…resolved. The only thing that gave away how she felt was the sadness in her eyes. She shook her head. "And I'm telling you that it's over. Not because of last night, though that was indicative of how well this will end up. You want me to give you something that I'm not prepared to give—"

"You mean give up the family."

She nodded, and went back to staring straight ahead.

"Jane, I shouldn't have asked that of you. I shouldn't make you have to choose—"

"But that's what it comes down to, doesn't it? Is there any other way to be together? Outside of sneaking around, no. And that's not a life for either of us. You're willing to risk everything and I'm not. You deserve to be with someone who will without question—"

Loki grabbed her shoulders and forced her to look at him. "No," he said vehemently, feeling wild and out of control. His world was crumbling down around him and he didn't know how to stop it. "No, I won't let you end this. I need you, Jane, do you hear me? I _need_ you—"

"No, you don't. You're far stronger than I am, Loki. I'm too afraid to risk everything – risk ruin and scandal and shame on the family…I'm sorry. I am new to love and maybe…maybe you're right. Maybe I don't love you as much as you love me."

"No, I know you do, Jane. What I said was wrong. It's not a competition!" He leaned in to kiss her, to show her how she responded to him, but she pushed away and stood up. Loki grabbed her hand and tried to pull her down to him, but Jane managed to free herself.

"I'm sorry, Loki. There's no happy ending for us and it has to end now before we get in even deeper. I'm sorry." She started to cry. "I'm sorry."

And then she ran off, leaving Loki feeling as though his heart had just been tossed in the fountain.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter Nineteen**

Loki left shortly after Jane had put an end to their relationship. He'd mysteriously received an invitation to a friend's house party in the country and he'd taken himself off.

Jane felt lost. Bereft. Her heart felt as though it constantly ached. At night, she cried herself to sleep. She saw Steve, but Jane had a feeling that was coming to a close because her heart wasn't in it – it wasn't in anything at all – and she had sensed his frustration with her. Good. Better to let him end things than her. Not that she could anyway considering her Mother and Thor were pushing it so hard.

Darcy had been angry with her which Jane found wholly unfair. Darcy didn't even know the circumstances surrounding Loki leaving London so why was she so angry with Jane? For some bizarre reason, Darcy had gotten it into her head that Jane could work magic and make Loki fall in love with her. His leaving was proof of Jane's inability to do that and so Darcy acted as though Jane had failed her.

Jane was losing the ability to care. She drifted through her days in a kind of fog. She felt tired all the time and she thought about Loki constantly: How was he faring? Was he fornicating with every available woman at the house party? The thought made her skin feel tight and uncomfortable.

Loki was gone for two weeks.

He arrived home one afternoon looking disheveled and so handsome Jane wanted to cry. She had been on her way down the stairs to head outside for a turn about the garden when he'd burst into the house, filling up the entire space with his presence. When he saw her, he stopped and stared at her and then nodded curtly. "Hello."

"Hello," she said, trying to sound as though her heart wasn't breaking all over again just at the sight of him. "How was the party?"

"A rousing good time. How have things been here?"

"Quiet. Are you home for good now or does another adventure await you?" She attempted to smile.

"Not sure. I suppose we'll see," he said and passed by her on the stairs without another word.

Jane sighed and continued on her way outside.

xxxxxxxxx

Dinner that night was a quiet affair and immediately after, Jane took herself up to her bedchamber to be alone. Probably cry some more.

This continued for the next week. Jane and Loki avoiding each other and when they were forced to be in the same room together, they spoke to one another only when they simply had to. Frigga was too consumed with preparing for one last ball before the Season was out and Thor was too busy with his duties and getting ready for their return to Derbyshire to notice that the pair barely spoke or even looked at one another.

When the Odinson ball finally arrived, Jane was not looking forward to it at all. She had attempted to get out of it by claiming a headache, but Frigga ordered her to bed and sent her a headache powder. She was to rest up and be ready for the ball when it was time.

That night she wore a green dress that made her eyes pop and her hair appear extra shiny. She was determined to put her heartache aside and focus on having fun tonight.

When she met the family before the ball and they prepared to greet their guests, she made a point of going right up to Loki to greet him.

"You look very handsome tonight, Loki," she told him with a smile.

"Thank you, Jane," he said politely with a small smile.

Her eyes alighted on a speck of something on his suit and she reached up to brush it away. Loki grabbed her hand, nearly crushing her finger and looked down at her, his eyes dark. "Don't touch me," he growled and walked away from her.

He may as well have slapped her. Tears stung her eyes and she shoved the feeling down, she felt that was all she did lately: shove feelings down until she was nearly choking on them.

Before long the ball was in full swing and Jane forced herself to smile, to be polite and cordial, to laugh and at least appear as though she was having the time of her life. She danced with Steve and other men that asked. She must have done a good job fooling everyone because at one point, Steve pulled her aside and demanded to know why she was flirting with other men.

"I'm _not_ flirting with other men," Jane hissed at him. "I'm having _fun_, Steve, or at least trying to."

"For the past three weeks you've been quiet and sullen. We go for rides and walks and you barely even look at me or talk to me, and now tonight you seem to enjoy the attention of every other man in the room. Are you trying to tell me something, Jane?"

Frustration over the past month bubbled up within Jane and finally, she had reached the end of her rope. "Yes. I don't want this courtship any longer. I've had enough. I don't love you and I never will." It came out much harsher than she'd wanted, but she'd had enough. Enough of hurting, enough of Loki ignoring her, enough of being courted by Steve – she'd had it.

He looked stricken and stepped back away from her as though she'd struck him. Feeling guilty and still very angry and frustrated, she stormed out of the ball, not caring anymore if she made a scene or caused tongues to wag.

Jane made her way down the stairs and ordered the butler to ready a carriage for her. She wanted to go to the Odinson home in Derbyshire _now_. She then wrangled her maid to help her prepare for the trip. Her mother would be angry with her. So would Thor. Loki probably wouldn't care. Jane didn't care one whit about any of it anymore. She was done. Absolutely done.

"Jane, open the door."

Thor. Of course. Jane marched over to her bedchamber door and whipped her door open. "Yes?"

"What the devil are you doing? You left the ball."

"I'm going home," she said.

"You are home," he told her.

"No. I'm going home to Derbyshire."

"When?"

"Tonight."

"Tonight?!"

"I've already asked that a carriage be readied and I'm packing now."

"Jane, what in the hell happened in there to make you decide to leave the ball and pack to leave tonight for home?"

Jane threw up her arms. "Because I've had it, Thor. I'm done with this blasted Season. Steve just had the audacity to ask me why I was flirting with every man in the room when I _wasn't_ and I'm tired of being a little puppet on the string. I don't want him to court me and I told him as such. I don't love him and I never will love him and no amount of time is going to change that!"

Thor stepped inside her room and shut the door behind him. He attempted to take s tiff and unyielding Jane in his arms for comforting and she pushed away from him to return to packing. He followed her inside.

"Jane, stop. Calm down. Listen to me. You cannot leave tonight. It's not safe. If you want to go tomorrow still you may. I'll even escort you home to see that you get there safely."

Jane paused in her packing and turned to him. "Will Mother let me go?"

"It doesn't matter now, does it? You've told Lord Steve how you feel and I suppose that is the end of it. Perhaps you need a break from Society for a while. I know quite well how it can be tiresome."

Jane sighed heavily and nodded. She down on her bed. "I don't know that I ever want to marry, Thor."

"Now let's not get ahead of ourselves," he said with a chuckle. "You need a break, I'll give you that, but don't give up all hope of marrying. The right man just hasn't come along yet."

_Yes, he has, _Jane thought desolately. _But I can't have him. _

"I'll talk to Mother," Thor told her. "It'll be all right, Jane. Just take a rest tonight, all right?"

Jane nodded.

"We'll leave first light if you want."

Jane nodded again. "I do."

xxxxxxxxx

The following morning when Jane came down, dressed and ready to go, she found Thor and Frigga waiting for her in the foyer. The carriage, Thor informed her, was ready. Her things were on board, and as soon as she was ready to leave, they would be off.

"Where's Loki?" Jane asked.

"Still abed I'm sure," Frigga told her as she embraced Jane. "He was at the ball until the very end, dancing as I'd never seen him dance before."

Jane nodded, swallowing the lump in her throat. "I'm glad he had fun."

"I think he was in his cups," Thor said with a frown. "He's been in his cups quite often lately."

Had he? Jane didn't know. He was here, and yet not.

"I am disappointed that things did not work out with Lord Steve," Frigga said. Jane knew that already for Frigga had come the night before after Thor had left to check on her. Frigga had expressed her disappointment then, and while she thought Jane was making a mistake, she had told Jane that if she wanted to go home to Derbyshire, she was free to.

"I know, Mother," Jane murmured.

"But a break is what you need. So a break is what you'll have."

Jane smiled weakly.

"I'll return home sometime tomorrow," Thor told Frigga. "Jane will be fine in Derbyshire alone with the servants. We won't be but a week or so behind her."

Frigga frowned. "Yes, though I do not like the idea of leaving her alone like that."

"I'll be fine, Mother," Jane assured her. "Time alone will do me good."

Frigga smiled gently. "Perhaps. Off with you now."

They hugged one last time and then Thor and Jane departed. Jane tried not to let it bother her that Loki had not come down to at least say goodbye.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter Twenty**

The first morning back at their summer home in Derbyshire, Jane slept later than she ever had in London, even after an all night ball. It was almost one when she finally got dressed and met Thor in the dining room in time for luncheon. She smiled at him brightly and he grinned.

"Someone needed their rest," he said as she came in and sat down with him at the table.

Jane nodded and yawned, laughing as she did. "Perhaps I've slept too much now?"

Thor regarded her thoughtfully. "If possible, you already look better."

"Do I?"

"In London it was as though a weight had been pushing down on you. I think this rambling old house and the fresh country air will do you good. The hustle and bustle of the city can be exhausting."

"Hear hear," Jane muttered and tucked into the spread before her. "I'm actually looking forward to having the place to myself." She glanced at Thor. "Not that I want you to go right away or anything, but I'm looking forward to just…being. I can take long walks in the woods, visit the pond, go for a nice long ride on Artemis, climb a tree…"

"I would prefer you did not climb any trees, Jane."

Jane giggled. "Of course, brother dear."

"I plan to leave tomorrow. Today, while I'm here, I will see to some things."

Jane nodded. "I am going to meet with Mrs. West today. We are going to make sure everything is all set for when Mother, Loki, and yourself arrive."

"I wish I didn't have to go back to London quite frankly, but there is nothing to be done about that."

"Perhaps you should give Loki some work to do," Jane told him.

"He's busy with his own business." Thor frowned. "I wonder if he will even be able to come home."

"Well, he did leave for two weeks for that house party."

"Yes, he did at that. I try not to keep tabs on him. He hates that."

"Yes, well, you know how Loki doesn't like to be held accountable for anything. "

Thor whistled. "Well, well. Do I detect some bitterness in your tone?"

Jane shrugged. "Possibly. You know I find myself wondering at times if I was wrong in my assessment of Father and Loki and who was at fault for Loki feeling as though he had to leave us so often. I always took Loki's side, finding Father to be unbendable, but I find Loki to be the same way."

"And there you have it, Jane. Father and Loki were too much alike and therein lied the problem."

"And now Loki and I are at odds more often than we ever were before. Do you think he and I are too much alike?"

Thor shook his head. "No, I think you've grown up. Growing up you put Loki on a pedestal and he coveted you. You two were as thick as thieves. With time apart you relied on myself and Mother more. You grew up and as such you have your own thoughts and feelings and opinions and see things as they are, not necessarily as you wish them to be or how you are told they are. Loki doesn't like to be called out on his bad behavior. He can't play the perpetual victim that way."

This gave Jane food for thought. Perhaps that had been the problem with the start between her and Loki – well, part of it anyway. Loki just wanted her to blindly follow his lead so he could have his way and Jane found she couldn't just do that. Maybe it wasn't that Jane didn't love him enough, but that she couldn't just narrow her focus on just him. There were other people involved. People she loved.

Loki, of course, didn't want to think of those things. He never really did think through the consequences of his actions. He justified his actions one way or another, even if there really was no excuse for them.

What it all came down to was that Jane was tired of hurting. She wanted to heal. How she would do that with Loki coming home – if he even decided to do that – she did not know. But there had to be a way. Jane was determined to find it. And herself.

xxxxxxxx

"Is Jane well?" Loki asked Thor when his brother returned from Derbyshire.

Thor nodded as he arranged papers on his desk. "She's well. She already looks better."

Loki frowned and leaned against a bookcase. He hadn't been feeling well lately. Not since he and Jane...God, this distance was killing him by degrees. "Oh?"

"The last couple months here it was as if a weight had been pressing down upon her. She looked tired and heartsick. One long sleep at home and it looked as though the demons that had been chasing her had gone."

Demons, eh? That meant him of course. Loki raked a hand through his hair and tugged at it in distress. He'd done this to Jane. He'd made things so difficult by pushing her so hard and for so much. It wasn't enough to just have Jane love him, no he'd then had to go and demand more of her.

"What's going on with you?" Thor asked, studying him.

"What?" Loki said absently. His heart was aching so badly without Jane he rubbed his chest. She had told him that she wasn't as strong as he was and Loki couldn't even begin to tell her how wrong she was on that front. He was the weak one, not her. Jane could very well live without him, but him live without her? He felt as though he was dying. It wasn't just his heart that ached, it was everything. All of him. If he didn't know any better he'd say he was ill.

"You've been drinking every night since you returned from that house party," Thor said. "What's going on with you?"

"I don't know," Loki muttered. It was a lie, of course, but he wasn't thinking as clearly and as swiftly as before.

"Maybe you need to return home as well."

Home. With Jane. Loki brightened. "Perhaps you're right. Perhaps I should go home."

Thor frowned. "Do me one favor, Loki."

"What's that?"

"Give it a few days. Give Jane some time alone. She needs it."

Time. Time to get over him. He felt like an exposed nerve lately. One touch and he'd go off. That's why he'd been drinking so much lately. To dull it. To stop himself from going to Jane and demanding she take him back. Loki's sigh was shaky and he nodded. "Sure. I can wait a few days."

"Another favor?"

"What now?" Loki grumbled in annoyance.

"Stop drinking. The last thing Jane – or I, or mother – want is to have to take care of you in a drunken state."

In that, Thor was right. If he had any hope in getting Jane back he was going to have to have a clear head.

xxxxxxxx

Jane was sitting in one of her favorite spots in the back of the Odinson expansive estate: In a thick branch of a tree that cradled her perfectly. With a book in hand, she felt as though she could actually doze off. It was a hot day, but there was a breeze, and it felt good every time the wind went through the tree. She leaned her head back against the branch and yawned.

She had promised Thor not to climb a tree, but it wasn't as though she was very far from the ground. She could safely jump from where she was and not hurt herself. She smiled as the breeze blew, ruffling her pale green dress. The past few days had been nice. Relaxing. She felt successful in being the one in charge of the estate and was sure Frigga would be proud of her.

So far, Jane had gone for a long overdue ride on her horse Artemis, went down to the pond to stick her feet in when it was hot, and went for long walks in the woods. She read late into the night and slept late into the morning. It had been glorious so far.

The only thing, which was rather a big thing, was Loki. It hurt to think about him and so she kept herself busy so that she wouldn't. It was hard though because sometimes she couldn't _stop_ thinking about him. She'd found herself reading sentences over and over and over again because her mind would naturally drift to him and stay there.

No wonder she slept so late.

And now, her smile fell as thoughts of him clogged her mind.

"Jane?"

Her eyes popped open and she started, nearly falling out of the tree.

"Christ, don't fall!"

Jane looked down, bracing herself on the branch. She blinked. Had she conjured him here now? "Loki?"

The wind blew his dark locks back from his face as he squinted up at her. He looked paler than usual. "Jane, will you please come down from there?"

She furrowed her brow and shifted so she could look down at him a little better. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to see you."

She frowned. "Why?"

"Because I missed you."

"Go away," she told him and turned away from him. "I don't want you here."

"I don't believe that."

"I don't see why. I mean, you didn't believe I loved you enough before so I don't—"

"I was wrong."

She narrowed her eyes and looked down at him. "What are you up to?"

"Nothing. I am here to fix this."

"There's nothing to fix."

"Jane. Please. I'm dying without you," he pleaded.

Jane clenched her jaw, trying to steel herself against the sound of abject desperation and sadness in his voice and the raw vulnerability he presented to her. She couldn't do it. She couldn't do this again with him.

"You're not dying," she said and her voice shook.

"Jane, I am begging you."

"Don't! Just stop, Loki," she exclaimed and finally jumped down from the tree. He moved to her and she moved away. "No. I'm not doing this again with you. I cannot."

"I was wrong about everything and I'm sorry."

"It changes nothing."

"Do you…do you love me still?" His voice shook and there were tears in his eyes.

She couldn't lie and yet she didn't want to give him hope either. She clutched her book to her chest as though it could protect her from him and her traitorous heart. "It doesn't matter."

"It does to me."

She couldn't look at his pleading eyes any longer. She went by him, giving herself a wide berth and practically ran to the house to get away from him.

Loki watched her go, feeling helpless. He wiped at his eyes and feared the worst: he'd lost her for good. He shut his eyes and heaved a deep sigh. He had to get himself together. Jane was upset with him and rightly so. He'd made her feel as though she had to prove her love for him when she didn't.

What was the best way to get Jane back? By making her trust in him again. By proving to her that he would take care of her heart and not shatter it at the first sign of trouble.

First, he needed to refresh himself after the journey home, and then he'd hunt Jane down and see if perhaps she'd like to go for a ride. _Slowly, old man_, he told himself. _By degrees. Not all at once. _

Feeling a little bit better with somewhat of a plan, Loki headed inside to make himself at home.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter Twenty-One**

Jane entered the drawing room with all the mistrust of a rescued cat that didn't trust humans. Loki looked up from the book he'd been perusing and smiled at her. "Hello, Jane."

"You're still here," she said, staying near the door.

"I am." He gestured to her. "For God's sake I'm not going to pounce on you." _No matter how much I may want to,_ he thought. He put his book down and stood. "I thought perhaps it was time to take Acteaon for a ride. I'm sure you've been on Artemis already."

Jane nodded.

"Would you like to join me?"

She shook her head.

"Jane, I promise not to speak about…us. I will leave it be. It's what you want and I will respect that."

"Before the ball when I sought to remove a speck off your suit you told me not to touch you. You've barely spoken to me since…well, you know since when. You come here thinking to fix everything between us but I said no. Now you are treating me as though we are best friends. What are you up to, Loki?"

"I wish to regain your trust in me again." That was at least the truth.

"Why?"

"Because before all this started you and I were very close. We were as thick as thieves, and now it's all gone to hell. If we can't be what I'd hoped for us to be then I would like for us to at least find some way to get on together."

She seemed to consider that. Instead of agreeing to his request though, she said, "I'll see you at dinner." And then she left the room.

xxxxxxxx

Jane wouldn't stay in the same room outside of breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Even then she watched him expectantly and warily. Loki, though not a patient man, knew he had to stay the course. Like any skittish creature, Jane needed time and space.

Finally, on the third day, she walked into the study where he was poring over some correspondence from his business partner and said, "I'm going to take Artemis for a ride. Do you wish to join me?"

He looked up at her and schooled his features to not give away the hopefulness he felt. "Yes, I would. I'll meet you down at the stables in a few minutes."

She nodded and breezed out of the room just in time to miss his smile.

Loki changed into his riding clothes as soon as Jane was out of the house, and then he casually made his way down to the stables. She was standing before Artemis, a giant white horse that Loki had picked out for her and brought home when he'd come for his father's funeral. He had acquired his own horse, Actaeon, the perfect counterpart to Artemis.

"My pretty girl, that's what you are," Jane cooed to her horse and fed her a handful of oats.

Loki came up behind her, close enough to feel her body heat but not touch her. He reached up to pet Artemis and Jane started, which caused Artemis to start as well.

"It's all right, girl," Loki assured the horse and stroked down her nose.

Jane looked over her shoulder at him and moved back until she hit Loki so that he was forced to move back as well. "Ready?" she asked him.

"I am," he told her and went to see Actaeon.

"The groom has been exercising the horses every day since we left for London," Jane told him as she led Artemis out of her pen.

Loki hurriedly got Actaeon ready and met Jane outside the stable doors. She was ready to go and with a nod from him, Jane took off, her hair sailing behind her. Loki smiled with longing as he watched her. God, he loved this woman. He could watch her do anything for hours and be content— sleep, read, ride her horse - it didn't matter as long as she was always where he could see her. Without her, he went mad.

They rode until they got to the pond where Jane dismounted and fed Artemis a carrot and led her to the water. Loki followed her lead and the two stood side-by-side at the water's edge.

"Who had the house party?" Jane asked.

"Lord Thanos."

"Who else was there?"

Loki hid a smile. No doubt what she really wanted to know was if other ladies were there. He rattled off the list, which did include some ladies and he watched her shoulders stiffen just a smidge. He left out the bit about Lady Sigyn being there. He had not engaged her in any kind of liaison, though Sigyn had tried her best to draw him out. It hadn't worked and after she had snuck into his bedchamber while he was passed out cold, he had screamed for her to get out. Having another woman touch him that was not his Jane felt like knives upon his skin. The following morning, Lord Thanos asked her to leave. For a man that had once prided himself on his debauchery, falling in love and marrying had settled him down quite a lot.

"And you had fun?" Jane asked after a long while.

"I don't really remember it."

She looked up sharply. "Pardon?"

"I was rather..._intoxicated_ for most of it."

She looked at him sadly. "Oh, Loki..."

He reached out and tweaked her nose. "I'm fine, imp. I haven't had a drink in three days."

She nodded and looked back out on the water.

"It is rather hot, isn't it?" he asked casually.

"A bit," she said, and led Artemis up the embankment to graze in the grass.

Loki did the same with Actaeon and decided to up the ante by taking off his suit jacket, vest, and then shirt. He sat down on the ground and took off his boots and stockings. He looked up at Jane who was looking at him incredulously. "What is it?" he asked.

"What are you doing?" she exclaimed.

"I'm attempting to cool off." He stood and made to adjust his trousers when Jane leapt towards him and stayed his hands. "Loki, no! You can't take your trousers off!"

He laughed. "I wasn't, darling. I was merely adjusting them." He gripped her hands. "Why do you look so alarmed? You've seen me without a shirt before."

"I just – I don't think, that is, I do not believe that it's proper."

"But I'm your brother, remember?"

She nodded, her face flushed. "You're right. Yes, of course, you're right."

He leaned in closer to her. "If you want to take off your stockings and stick your feet in I won't say anything."

She bit her lip and Loki resisted the urge to dip his head and take her lip in his own mouth. "I, um, I'm fine. I'm not that hot," she murmured and twisted her hands free of his grasp.

_Patience_, Loki thought. _You're getting to her. Just have patience_.

He left her on the grass and went down to the water to cool off a bit. When he was done he made his way back up the hill and found Jane laying on her back in the grass and staring up at the sky with her arms folded under her head.

"Do you remember how I taught you to swim here?" he asked.

"How could I forget? You carried me into the middle where it is surprisingly deep and dropped me in. You simply told me to kick my legs and move my arms or I'd drown."

"It worked though, right? You swam like a fish from then on. I recall said fish pulling me underwater several times just because she could."

Jane laughed softly and then stopped abruptly. She was afraid to relax around him, afraid to laugh and have fun. It made Loki more determined than ever to tear down those walls she'd built against him. Jane was right there beside him and yet he felt as though an ocean lay between them. His palms literally ached with the need to pull her close and yet he could not.

His mind went back to that night under the stars when he'd tasted her for the first time and he licked his lips as though he could still taste her on his lips. His cock hardened immediately with the memory and he sat up to hide it from her. He raked a hand through his hair in frustration and kept his gaze straight ahead.

"What's wrong?" she asked and sat up as well.

"Nothing, I am just feeling as though the sun is baking me."

She hummed in agreement. "We should get back then. A ride in the breeze would do you right."

He bit his tongue so he wouldn't tell her that _her_ riding _him_ would do him just right.

xxxxxxx

The next couple days followed the same sort of pattern. Jane would ask Loki at some point during the day if he wanted to go for a ride or a walk, they'd go, and then she'd leave him be until dinner. He was always aware of where she was, but not always what she was doing. He hadn't wanted to push her beyond what she was willing to offer him, but Loki was not always a very patient man.

One night as he sat in the library with a book in his lap that he wasn't at all reading, but was rather staring into the dying fire thinking of Jane and how he'd like to make love to her before it, in came the object of this thoughts.

She was in her nightrail and wrapper, her long hair free and cascading down her back. She stopped abruptly in the doorway, noticing the fire and then him. "Oh! Loki, I didn't know you were in here. Sorry, I'll just—"

"No, don't go," he said eagerly and stood. "Were you looking for a book?"

"Yes, I finished mine today," she told him.

"Don't let me stop you."

She pulled her wrapper tighter around herself and nodded. She made her way to the wall furthest from him, of course, but tonight Loki was in no mood to be ignored or treated with a politeness that was slowly driving him mad.

"I heard you ended your courtship to Lord Steve," he said.

She froze; her hand in mid-air poised to grab a book. She sighed and pulled it from the shelf. "Yes."

"Why?"

"I do not love him. It wasn't fair to him or to me."

"You left London abruptly. Was Lord Steve the reason why? Was he giving you a hard time?"

"He was not."

"Then why?"

She said nothing, just pulled out the book.

"To get away from me?" he pressed.

"No, I was tired of London. I wanted to come home."

"Took you a while to come up with that answer. I know you well enough to know that you have difficulty lying. When you hesitate that long I know you're lying."

She sighed and turned to face him. "Loki, don't."

"Don't what?"

"You know what. You're in the mood for an argument. I'm not sure why—"

"You don't know why?" Loki asked softly as he came closer to her, invading her space. She stepped back until her back hit the bookcase. "Why don't we start where you've been treating me with all the politeness of a stranger the past few days? I'd rather have you hollering at me than treating me like I'm intruding in on my own home—"

She glared up at him, her chin lifted in defiance. "I didn't want you here," she said simply. "I did leave to get away from you, Loki, and so you what do you do? You decide to follow me. You should have just stayed and come with Mother and Thor." She poked him hard in the chest. "Let's not forget how you wanted no part of me the past few weeks—"

"You broke my heart!" he shouted.

"You broke mine first!" she shouted back. "It's always your way or no way, Loki. You want me to give you my heart, my body, and my soul and I gave it all to you – gladly! But that wasn't enough. You wanted more and more and more and the second I hesitate you tell me I don't love you enough, want you enough – that all that I've given you is not enough."

Loki reached out and slid his fingers through her hair to the back of her neck. He gripped her there, but not hard. "I was wrong. I'm sorry," he said hoarsely. He leaned in closer, needing so desperately to kiss her. "Jane, please—"

She turned her head away. "No, Loki. I don't think we should go down that path again."

He bent his head and nuzzled her neck. "I do. I love you, Jane, and this distance is killing me. I _need_ you, love."

He saw her throat work on a swallow and he heard her breath hitch. He was getting to her. "Jane, please…" he begged.

"No," she whispered and pushed him from her, causing him to release her. She looked shaken. She scurried away from him, giving him a wide berth. "There is too much…it's impossible."

"No, not if we love each other." He paused. "Do you still love me or have I driven that from you?"

Jane was a terrible liar, he knew that. If she couldn't answer him truthfully then she wouldn't answer him at all. She pursed her lips together. "Let's just forget this – tonight – happened. Let our tempers cool—"

"It's a yes or no answer, Jane. Do. You. Still. Love. Me?"

Her brows furrowed and her eyes shut tight as if drawing on strength. When she opened her eyes, he was right there in front of her, his eyes boring into hers. She jumped and he pushed his nose against her cheek gently and kissed the corner of her mouth.

She whimpered. So softly Loki had to strain to hear it. He was about kiss her fully when she jerked away from him. She looked at him, stricken, and then ran from the room.

Loki glared at the door she'd retreated from, chest heaving with retrained passion. He grabbed a nearby glass of brandy and hurled it at the wall, taking satisfaction when it exploded into shards.

All right then. Next plan…


	22. Chapter Twenty-Two

**Chapter Twenty-two**

Jane told herself she hated him. She figured if she told herself that enough, maybe she would.

It wasn't working.

Not that he was making it easy on her, though he wasn't actually doing anything, which troubled her all the more. In fact, he was acting as if the night before in the library had not happened at all. He smiled at her, was cordial to her – and Jane suspected that perhaps he was giving her a taste of her own medicine by being unfailingly polite.

She went for a ride in the afternoon on Artemis and opted not to tell him she was going. She consoled any guilt feelings by telling herself that he wasn't even supposed to be there – not yet anyway – and so he could go hang as far as she was concerned. She owed him nothing.

Jane was tired of him acting like a spoiled brat – and he was older than she was! First he just wanted her and nothing else. _Then_ he wanted her to readily give up the people that had taken her in and given her a home and a family and all the benefits that went with it. When she had difficulty doing that on a whim, he was done with her and had the audacity to make it as though he was a victim of her being careless with his heart. One could not give Loki an inch because then he demanded a mile.

If he wanted to be an insufferable sod then he could be an insufferable sod all on his own. No matter that it broke her heart to deny him because in doing so she was also denying herself. Of course he didn't understand that for he wasn't aware of what anyone else thought or felt, just of what he felt and thought.

When she returned with Artemis she found Loki in the stables brushing Actaeon down. When he saw her guiding Artemis in he looked up and smiled at her. "Have a nice ride?" he asked.

Something snapped inside of Jane and after she put Artemis in her stall, she grabbed the crop hanging on the wall and went over to Loki who was paying no attention to her and hit him on the leg with it.

"Ow!" he exclaimed and turned to face her. Actaeon whinnied and Loki moved out of the stall and shut it. "What the bloody hell was that for?"

"Because you're a miserable sod and I hate you. The first time I fall in love and you ruin it. You want everything your way, Loki, and damn anyone else and what they want and how they feel. You don't think about your actions, you just plow ahead and run over anyone who gets in your way. You thought you could come here and I'd just fall into your arms. Then you get angry when I don't. You're a wanker, Loki, and you can go to the bloody devil for all I care."

She made to walk away when Loki grabbed her arm and pulled her to him. "Feel better?" he asked huskily.

"Yes," she said and pushed him away.

"You're right."

That gave her pause. "Pardon?"

"You're right. What you said. I am a miserable sod. I do just run over anyone that gets in my way and I've always wanted things my way and to hell with anyone else. I was wrong in how I handled everything."

Jane narrowed her eyes. There had to be a catch. "I'm being honest, Jane," he said. He ran a hand through his hair. "I just – I've never been in love before either. I didn't know what I was doing. All I knew – know – is that I love you so bloody much that the idea of not being with you tears me to shreds. I'd rather have someone run me through with a sword."

"Loki, don't say things like that," she admonished softly.

"But it's true. You have always been special to me, Jane. You've always been _mine_. Thor had Father and Mother, and I had you."

"You have Mother, too."

"I thought you were going to be taken away from me and married off. I couldn't bear the thought and I was afraid that you would go along with it because of your fear. I just wanted to have some…_assurance _that you were in this with me and wouldn't give us up at the first sign of trouble."

"The situation is not black and white, Loki. It's our family!" She wiped at the tears that fell from her eyes. "I can't help my fears and my doubts. While I know that Mother and Thor love me and that Father loved me too, it has never been far from my mind that I was not always an Odinson. I was a Foster and then I was an orphan. If Mother and Father hadn't taken me in, God only knows what would have become of me, Loki. To expect me to just give that all up is unfair."

"Would you marry just to escape me, Jane? To escape us?"

"You can see how well that worked! If I was going to marry another I would have chosen Lord Steve. He would have made me a fine husband, but my stubborn heart wants – _wanted_ – you. You see where I am. I'm not finishing out the Season. I'm not breathless with anticipation awaiting my proposal from Lord Steve. I came home to get away from him, from the demands on me – from you."

"And I ruined your peace," he murmured.

"Yes. You're good at that."

He chuckled softly. "I know." He looked at her longingly. "Jane…you still want me. You still love me. You said it."

Her eyes filled with tears of frustration. "'Twould be easier if I didn't."

He moved closer and she watched him warily. "But you do."

She refused to answer.

Loki stopped inches from her. "Jane, tell me. Please. Just tell me if it's true, tell me if you still love me."

"You know I do," she whispered.

"Will you say it? I need the words, Jane."

She met his gaze straight on. "I love you, Loki."

He let out a cry of relief and cupped her face in his hands, his own tears spilling down his cheeks. "Please give me another chance, Jane. We'll figure this out together. I won't push you. I won't force your hand into anything. Please, Jane, I am lost without you."

"Mi'lord? Mi'lady? Is it your voices I hear in 'ere?"

It was the stable master. Jane and Loki lurched apart and Jane patted down her hair and walked away from Loki, afraid to even meet his gaze. She walked to the stable master and bid him good afternoon, informed him that she'd ridden Artemis, and was then on her way. Servants talked. If word got out about her and Loki in any way...

Jane was halfway to the house when Loki caught up to her. "Jane, stop, we never finished—"

"Not now, Loki, not out here where anyone could see—"

"I won't touch you. I'll give nothing away, just tell me. Will you give me another chance?"

"I'll come to you later," she said and started to briskly walk away.

"Jane? What does that mean?" he called after her.

She turned and smirked at him. "It means I'll see you later. Don't come to me. I'll come to you."

He looked bewildered, but said nothing more. Jane could feel his eyes on him all the way back to the house.


	23. Chapter 23

Loki wanted badly to adhere to Jane's wishes and not go to her. She wanted to come to him, but when? She didn't even meet him for dinner, and now it was after dinner and he was alone in the study having a finger of brandy and wondering if Jane meant to drive him mad.

Then he heard the door open and heard her speaking to a servant though he had yet to see her. "Yes, Lord Loki and I are not to be disturbed. We have some correspondence to go over for Lord Odinson. Thank you."

And then she was inside and locking the door behind her with a soft click. She pressed her back against the door and Loki stood, unsure of what to do. He stood there feeling ridiculous just holding his drink.

She looked at him and they just stood there for several minutes staring at one another. She looked nervous, but Loki didn't have a clue what she was about so he couldn't do anything to help her.

She had changed from earlier that day and now wore a moss green dress that made her eyes stand out. Her hair was left loose and fell around her shoulders. He wondered idly if she'd worn the dress and left her hair free for him.

She came forward, but didn't come too close, and that worried him.

"Loki, I've thought about it all day," she finally said. "About giving you another chance and trying this – us – again," she began. She heaved in a deep breath as if for fortitude and Loki braced himself. If she told him she couldn't be with him, that she couldn't give them another try, he didn't think he'd be able to bear it. He might actually be reduced to begging on his knees.

"The plain truth is I'm terrified about what could happen," she said. "Being together means an uncertain future where we could find ourselves without family to support us. Where we could bring ruin to them as a result."

He couldn't keep silent any longer. He took a step forward, "Jane—"

"Let me finish."

The authority in her tone made Loki stop. He nodded.

"But when I think about marrying someone else, about sharing a life with them and doing all the things I would not be able to share with you, I know that it would be a singular kind of torture that I do not think I could bear."

Euphoria shot through Loki and he physically began to shake with the need to touch her. He took another step forward but she stayed him from going further with a warning look.

"I do love you, Loki," she continued. "And I know that I will never love another. I accused you of being selfish by not thinking of the family and what our involvement could do to all of us, but I suppose that in my choice I could be accused of the same." She frowned slightly, thoughtfully. "Yet it doesn't feel selfish, not any more, it feels…right. It feels like something that has to be because being without you these few weeks have been miserable. I have missed you every minute of every single day and it has felt as though someone had reached into my chest and tore out my heart. If this is what spending the rest of my days without you would be like, then I cannot do it. Yes, I was angry with you and yes, I had resolved to live without you but it appears that I am weak, for I find I no longer lack the conviction to leave you. I simply love you too much."

"It is not weak, dearest," he said softly. "What we are to embark on rather denotes courage don't you think?"

"Yes, I suppose you are right."

"Jane, may I come to you now?"

She nodded. "Please."

He sprang forward and in a few quick strides, took her in his arms and kissed her. He did more than kiss her, but nearly swallowed her whole with his desire and the agony of time spent apart.

"Loki, I can't breathe," she muttered and turned her face away, panting.

His lips dribbled down her neck and he breathed deep. "Jane, my Jane, how I've missed you."

She held him to her, running her fingers through his long locks. "I missed you as well, Loki."

He straightened and took her face in his hands. "Jane, I promise that I will be a better man for you, a man that deserves you and will never take your love and the gift of it for granted. I would walk into hell for you, Jane. Whatever comes, I will stand by your side and never give up on you or us."

"You know I'm scared still."

"I know," he said and pulled her into his arms. He wrapped her up in them, wanting to make her feel safe and secure there. "But we will face this together, Jane."

She pulled back and looked up at him imploringly. "I won't give up on us, Loki. I promise I won't. Not again. I will stay by your side and I won't give you up."

Loki smiled broadly and kissed her soundly, leaving Jane clinging to him. Their kisses grew in intensity and passion and while Loki didn't want to rush her into anything, she was making it difficult for him to step away and take a break.

"Jane," he finally gasped. "We must stop now."

"Why?" she asked and looked up at him questioningly.

She was going to be the death of him. He groaned. "Because if we don't stop now I won't be able to stop at all. I want you, in every way possible, but I don't think you are ready for that."

"You're talking about what happens on one's wedding night."

"Yes, dearest."

"You know…you and I might not be able to wed…considering."

He narrowed his eyes. "I'm following."

"Well, we did make our promises here. Some might call them vows…"

"Jane, are you saying—"

"Yes. Ever since that night under the stars…"

"Yes," he prompted eagerly.

She met his gaze straight on. "My body aches for you."

Loki groaned and kissed her hard. "Mine aches for you as well, sweeting."

"Can we, Loki?"

How could he say no to that? He swept her up in his arms and she laughed as he carried her to the fireplace and set her down. "Yes, my love, we can."

"What do I do?" she asked.

"Let me grab some pillows and a blanket from the couch first," he told her and set about completing that task. When he was done, he found Jane watching him expectantly and a bit nervously. He smiled at her. "May I play my lady's maid?"

She smiled and nodded and turned her back to him. Loki reached out and found his fingers were trembling as he began unbuttoning the back of her dress. He fumbled with a couple of them and laughed at himself.

"Are you well, Loki?" Jane asked, looking over her shoulder at him.

"My hands are a bit shaky," he confessed.

She looked worried by that. "Why?"

"I'm nervous, my sweet," he told her and pushed the top of her dress off her shoulders and then down her body. It fell in a pool at her feet, leaving her in her chemise, stays and drawers. Loki set about the task of removing each particle of clothing with reverence. With each patch of skin revealed, his heart beat faster.

When Jane was nude before him she expected her to turn around and face him, but she did not. "Jane?"

"Hmm?"

"Will you turn around so I can look at you?" It was then that he discovered her eyes were shut tight. She turned; wobbling a bit with her eyes closed and brought her arms up to cover her breasts.

"Jane, look at me, love."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"I'm as bare as the day I was born, Loki. It's embarrassing."

"No," he rumbled deeply as his gaze swept her from head to toe. "You are so incredibly beautiful."

She popped one eye open. "You speak the truth?"

He reached out and moved her arms away so he could look his fill. He sucked in a sharp breath at the full sight of her and sank to his knees. "You are a Goddess," he murmured and pressed a kiss to her flat belly. "I but worship at your feet."

"Loki, stop teasing."

He looked up at her and she must have seen the need and desire and love in his face for she gasped softly. "I love you, Jane, with all that I am. If we are to make our vows tonight then so be it. I give you everything. Every part of me. My heart," he placed a hand over his heart. "My soul." He stood. "And my body." And then he kissed her heatedly and tugged at his cravat. Then her hands were there, helping him and soon the cloth went sailing across the room. Next she undid the buttons of his vest and pushed it off his shoulders. He watched her as she worked; her expression of one awe and wonderment.

When he rid himself of his shirt, she spread her hands over his bare chest. "You are so beautiful, Loki," she breathed. "So strong…"

It took every bit of Loki's strength to endure her touches without pushing her down to the floor and taking her as his body screamed at him to do. He reached for the buttons on his pants and she stepped back and watched as he took them off and then his drawers. She stared at his arousal with a bit of shock and fear and then looked at him. "Are you sure this will work?"

He laughed deeply and pulled her against him, shivering at the feel of her naked body against his own. "Yes, my love, we were made to fit."

She pursed her lips together. "As you fit with Lady Sigyn?"

"Jane, pray do not mention other women when we're like this. This is about us, not any others."

She nodded slowly and then leaned up and kissed him softly. "Tell me what to do, Loki. Can I touch it?"

He groaned. She was going to kill him. "Yes, you can touch it. Let me show you how."

He took her hand and guided it to his cock and showed her how to stroke him and where to exert pressure. She followed his movements perfectly and then mimicked them when he pulled away. Soon, though, it was too much and Loki stayed her hand and pulled it away.

"Did I do something wrong?" she asked.

"No, my love, but if you didn't stop I would have spent myself in your hand and not been able to do what I want to do."

She bit her lip. "I see. Now what do I do?"

He got down on his knees and pulled her down with him. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her slowly first on the lips, then trailed his lips across her jaw, down her neck and then to her breasts. He took one in his mouth and suckled from it gently. Jane shivered and her hands went to his hair, her fingers tunneling through the silky mass.

"Do you like that, Jane?" he asked softly.

"Y—yes."

He smiled smugly and trailed kisses to her other breast where he then suckled from that one as well. She moaned and gripped his hair tighter.

Pleased, Loki pushed her onto her back, ensuring she landed with a pillow under her head. He hovered over her and ran a hand down her body slowly, feeling every inch of her until he reached her core. "Open your legs for me a bit, Jane," he murmured and she complied, looking a bit nervous and uncertain.

Then he touched her right at her little nub and she gasped. Her eyes went wide. Loki teased her there until she was squirming and moaning under him. He didn't want to make her come just yet, but he wanted her close. "Loki, please," she moaned.

He pulled his hand away and hers flew open. He kissed away the question he could see forming on her mouth and lay himself down between her spread legs. She moved them wider to accommodate him and then froze when she felt his erection against her opening.

He took himself in hand and rubbed her nub with his cock, letting her feel him there. "You are so wet," he grunted.

"Th—that's good, right?"

"Yes, very. It will ease my passage inside you. Are you ready, my love?"

"I think so," she said, but she looked scared now.

Loki kissed her and kissed her until she was panting for air. "Relax, darling and take me inside you."

"Yes," she murmured and he began to push his way inside her. He used short slow strokes to gain entrance and then when he came to her maidenhead he looked at her and whispered, "I'm sorry."

"For wh—"

He thrust forward and pierced her maidenhead and she gasped and dug her nails into his shoulders.

"Breathe, Jane, breathe," he whispered and peppered her face with kisses. He pressed his forehead to hers. "Breathe, my love."

"Will it always hurt like that?" she asked.

"No, Jane, that was it, I promise." He kissed her again and again and then began to move slowly when he felt her relax. "Wrap your legs around me, love."

She did so and he rocked into her again and again. "God, you feel like heaven," he muttered. "Jane, God…Jane, I love you so much."

She looked up at him, her eyes half mass with desire and full of love. Her mouth blossomed slowly into a smile. "I love you too, Loki."

"Say it again," he commanded gently.

"I love you, Loki."

"Tell me you're mine, Jane."

"I am yours, Loki," she said and it sounded like a vow. Loki began to move faster, her words, her promises, spurring him on.

"Tell me you'll never leave me," he ordered.

She reached up and took his face in her hands. "I will never leave you. I give you my heart, my soul, and my body," she told him and then captured his mouth in a searing kiss.

Loki reached between them, desperate to make her come because he was close now, so very close. He found her nub and rubbed. She cried out and her hips bucked.

"That's my girl," he gasped and rubbed harder and faster. Her neck arched, and her mouth opened in silent scream. Loki felt her walls pulsing around him and he was helpless to it. He let go inside her, forgetting that he had planned to pull out so as to not risk pregnancy. Not yet anyway.

He collapsed against her with a grunt and shut his eyes as the euphoria spread throughout his entire being. "Jane, Jane, Jane," he murmured into her neck.

She hummed and rubbed the side of her face against his.

Finally, Loki managed to roll to his side and drew her with him. Jane buried her face in his chest and Loki ran a hand through her hair and then down her arm. He needed to touch her, to feel her skin under his. "Jane, are you all right?" he asked after some time had passed. "Did I hurt you too badly?"

She looked up at him and he found tears in her eyes. His heart dropped. "Jane?" He was near panicked now.

"It was wonderful, Loki. I'm just overcome and being silly," she told him.

He laughed softly, relieved, and gathered her closer. "No, not silly," he told her gently. "That was certainly the most profound experience of my life."

"But you've done that before," she protested.

He bent his head and kissed her. "Not with you though, Jane," he said against her mouth. "Everything, I find, is better with you." And then he kissed her again.


End file.
